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Building Relationships with Teachers Who Are Resistant with Allison Petersen, Ep. 134 Buzzing with Ms. B: The Coaching Podcast

Building relationships with teachers who are resistant is often a challenging process. It can be hard to reach them and it’s easy to take their resistance personally.

In this episode, Allison Petersen, Founder of the #NewtoCoaching Community, shares her insights on how to build positive relationships with even the most resistant teachers. Allison has a 7,500-member Facebook group where new coaches can learn more about coaching, connect with others, and ask questions without feeling judged. In addition to running her group, she also works in a school as a K-8 instructional coach.

During the show, Alison explains why it’s essential to establish relationships and how to use small moments to grow connections with teachers. We talk about where resistance comes from, ideas for building trust with your team, how to react when teachers show resistance towards your coaching, and what to do when teachers get stuck.

Woman looking to the left with a stack of papers in a folder on the desk in front of her with the words "Episode 134 Building relationships with teachers who are resistant with Allison Petersen"

This episode covers all the basics that you need to grow your relationship with resistant teachers and to understand that it’s not usually about you, which I think is so important to remember.

Topics and Questions Discussed in Episode 134 – Building Relationships with Teachers Who Are Resistant with Allison Petersen

  • How to reach resistant teachers
  • What do positive relationships look like between coaches and teachers
  • The reasons relationships are a core foundational piece of coaching
  • Building trust and connections with teachers
  • The spectrum of characteristics and actions of resistant teachers
  • Why questions are not always a form of resistance or pushing back
  • Where does resistance come from
  • How to respond when you’re asked to do admin work and entering the classroom with a coaching stance
  • Coaching in toxic environments where teachers don’t feel valued
  • Reacting when teachers are resistant to your coaching
  • What to do when teachers don’t want to change
  • Not taking resistance to coaching personally
  • Using the Enneagram to help you understand yourself and the teachers you coach
  • Growing relationships with small moments over time
  • Start with a friendly – building rapport with willing teachers

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Helpful Resources

We’ve all worked with teachers who are not excited to work with us. To learn more about building relationships with teachers who are resistant sign up for my free Coaching Resistance Teachers email challenge below. It’s an email every day for a week and it will get you set up to change the relationship that you have with some of your most resistant teachers. The video and handout you’ll receive every day will help you coach resistant teachers and build relationships with them. It has tips that I actually used and that worked for me.

Thank you for listening to Buzzing with Ms. B: the Coaching Podcast. Want more coaching ideas?

Check me out at buzzingwithmsb.com and on Instagram @buzzingwithmsb.

If you love the show, share it with a coach who would love it too, or leave me a review on iTunes! It’s free and it helps others find this show, too. Happy coaching!

Podcast produced by Fernie Ceniceros


Are you new to coaching? Starting out as a coach can be incredibly overwhelming, especially when you aren’t given much direction from your administration. That’s why I created the new coaches playbook. It includes a roadmap to help you start building your coaching Foundation, and a guide to seven podcast episodes in order that will give you the steps and ideas you need to build relationships, define your role, communicate with your admin, and make a plan to start coaching. I’m going to make an assumption and you tell me if I’m wrong. You feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. I know it’s true. There are always too many things to do and too little time. If you’re like me, your boss will walk down the hallway and shout go home Beltran. That’s why I’m telling everyone about the 40 hour workweek with Angela Watson. Angela was a guest on this very podcast back in season one, and she shared her ideas for managing your time teaching and stuff to help you make the most of your time at work while making time for home too. But that was just the beginning. In her membership, the 40 hour workweek. Angela helps you focus on what matters to have a purposeful and productive work day and then go home. Angela helps teachers find on average 11 hours a week that they can take back for themselves while still being a great teacher. The best part is that Angela has a new membership, especially for coaches. She partnered with my friend and coffee buddy Nicole Turner of simply coaching to create the 40 hour workweek for coaches. Check it out at buzzing with Miss v.com/forty hour week and get your time back.


You’re listening to buzzing with Miss B the coaching podcast where we believe that every teacher deserves a coach. And every coach does too. I’m Chrissy Beltran, an instructional coach, resource creator and coffee enthusiast, and I’m your host, stay tuned for practical tips and honest coaching talk that will help you coach with confidence.


Hey, coach, and welcome to Episode 130, for building relationships with resistant teachers with Allison Peterson. I am really excited to extend this this actual series that we’ve been working on the human side of coaching, we’re digging into all things human. Because coaching is such humanizing work, we see teachers who give everything to their kids. And from our perspective, we can also see the kids who need support from their teachers, and maybe they’re not getting it. So today I want to talk about a topic that I get asked about all the time, how to reach resistant teachers, my free email challenge is available to you actually at buzzing with myspace.com/episode 134. That’s where the show notes for this episode are and you can scroll down to the bottom, get the challenge coaching resistance teachers, we’ve all been there working with teachers who were not excited to work with us. And so I recommend you grab this challenge. It’s an email every day for a week and it will get you set up to change the relationship that you have with some of your most resists resistant teachers with tips that I have actually used and that have worked for me. So absolutely grab that that that free download. It’s got like a download handout and it has a video that will come every day. Coaching resistant teachers at buzzing Loomis video comm slash episode 134. To help me dig into this topic today about building relationships. I invited Alison Peterson of faithful coaching. The let’s welcome to the podcast. Alison Peterson. Welcome, Allison. Hey, Christy,


thanks so much for having me. You’re awesome. I’m so excited to be a part of the podcast today.


Oh, thank you so much. I’m so glad that you’re able to join us today because you have so much to offer coaches, and I’m excited to hear what you have to say,


Oh, good. Well, let’s do it.


I’m excited. So can you introduce yourself to our listeners, maybe a little bit about who you are, how you ended up doing, what you’re doing and what kind of work you focus on?


Yeah, absolutely. So I’m Allison Peterson. And this is my ninth year out of the classroom as a coach. I have been, I’ve been at multiple schools, because I’ve worked at independent schools. And at three of those independent schools, I have launched instructional coaching programs. So I find myself kickstarting things in coaching. So before that I was a teacher and I also did some ad tech coaching. And it has just led me to a place where I feel like coaching is my place. It’s my calling. So in my work that I was doing and learning about all of these things about coaching, I want to connect with people online. And it’s been an amazing thing to build a PLC, which you now knew being one of the people. And so in that process, I started a Facebook group called the new to coaching Facebook group specifically aimed towards inviting new coaches into an environment where they could learn and understand more about coaching and connect and ask like every question on their mind and not feel judged. And so I’ve created that new to coaching community on Facebook and it’s grown to over 7500 members, which has been amazing. And so that is what I work with and coach new coaches and and then every single day, I still work at a school as a K to eight instructional coach. So that’s me.


That’s fantastic. I love that you’re in the trenches, because you can share exactly what’s going on with us. Well, not exactly. But you know. So I know that one of the foundations of your coaching work is building relationships with teachers, and really is the foundation of all effective coaching work, just like it is in teaching. So what path do positive relationships really look like when it comes to coaches and teachers?


Yeah, I just really build a lot of the things that I share and teach on relationship, I feel like sometimes relationship gets a bad rap, I don’t know where that comes from. But this idea of if you’re too relational as a coach, then you’re not going to be able to move them forward and change. And I really stand on the fact that if you don’t have the relationships in place, then there’s no way you’re going to be able to move them forward and change. And so I really, really feel like it’s a core foundational piece. But what relationships look like between teachers and coaches, I really think that it’s a slow growth of, of kind of growing your familiarity and relationship with someone and that that doesn’t happen right away. So when I work with new coaches, I help them understand how to build trust with teachers, and that it’s really about every interaction. I don’t know if you’ve seen that. I’m sure you’ve read dare to lead by Brene Brown, but she talks about this idea of marbles in the jar as a trust building tool, and that it’s really the small moments that build trust. And so I think that relationships with teachers and coaches is all about the small moments that build trust. And that trust is what’s going to open the door for you to be invited into their classroom to work with them, and then later to work with them on a deeper level where we can actually impact change.


Yeah, I love that. I really liked what you said about the relational piece. I agree. Nobody wants to learn from somebody they don’t know unlike I mean, that’s,


that’s the bottom line. You know, like, yes, factors what you have to give.


Yeah, they talk about it with businesses, it’s this, how would that be any different you if you don’t even want to purchase from business that you don’t feel confident in? Why would you want to work with a person in your face an actual human being that you don’t feel good about your relationship with them? I remember we had the central office coaches, and I do owe them a lot I was I really appreciated everything they did, whenever I was a new coach, they came out to our school and our school was what the school that I went to, was in a lot of a lot of needs significant need. And so they would come out and like run PLCs and things so I can kind of see how things were done. And I do appreciate that. But whenever they would go visit classrooms. I didn’t notice it because I had a relationship with them outside of this. I had seen them work behind the scenes. But I guess they would go into classrooms and just sit there with nothing. There’s no emotion exuding from their face. And they just kind of like sat there at one teacher described it as they sat there very stoically. And the teachers told me later how nervous they made them, and why they are not scary people. They’re very easy to work with guys. And they were like, no look at their faces. They were mean, like, they were very intimidated, because they went into these classrooms and had like a very flat aspect. And that was what the way that they thought they were supposed to do it. They just felt like, we don’t want to show praise, but you know that whole thing about if you praise too much, then they’ll always expect praise. And if you criticize, then, you know, it’s kind of like well, it’s not about praise and criticism. It’s about you know, joy,


you know, but it’s about the relational connection like near when somebody’s room, whether you are giving her feedback or whether you are encouraging her like it’s really all about like just connecting with her. What do you need right now? What are you trying right now? What are you doing? And so I feel like when you are sitting back stoically observing than it may be does not feel like there’s connection there. But instead, coming into a relationship coaching teacher relationship, where it’s really that partnership that Jim Knight talks about so beautifully.


Yes, yeah. So what would you say? What does resistance look like in a teacher? What are characteristics or actions that you feel are resistance to coaching work?


You know what, I feel like there might be a spectrum of this, I haven’t I put it on paper. But as you ask that question, I’m like, well, it could be anything from like somebody’s avoiding, right. So avoidance is a very, like subtle way to resist and they’re really good at that. Because if they can get away with avoiding, then they don’t have to do anything and you know, so that can be but I’ve also experienced all the way to the other side of the spectrum where you have someone yelling at you in a meeting and resisting the change that is being asked of them and they are not happy about it and they’re not hiding that they’re not happy about it. And so that can sometimes be you can find yourself pendulum swinging between those two things. You can find yourself somewhere between them. But I’m resisting resistance opt in looks like that. I think one thing that we do though, is We think that questions are resistance. And I think we have to be careful about that as we’re really trying to enter into relationship and coaching stances where we’re asking them a lot of questions when they have questions like we implemented a new curriculum at my school this year, and they’ve had a lot of questions like, they don’t know if they agree with the approach from the curriculum, we need to do a better job of helping them understand the science, the science behind the curriculum, and what’s going on there in the research, but truly, they have genuine questions, and they don’t understand why they can’t do it the way that they want, or they want to do it the old way, kind of thing. And so I think it’s easy to think just because they’re asking questions, and, you know, bucking and get something new, that that is resistance, but often it’s just processing. Do, I’m sure you’ve seen that?


Yeah, I think that’s a really good point. It’s, it’s easy as a coach, and I’ve talked this talk about this a while back in episode 131. About impostor syndrome, we bring so much to the table. And so sometimes we’re looking, we have doubt, and we have insecurities, or worries about how things are gonna go. And so we perceive things as, as pushing back that maybe they’re not always pushing back. Maybe they are like, they’re just struggling with something, they’re trying to deal with something or figure something out. And we look at it and see, oh, my gosh, they’re resisting me, they’re pushing back against me. And that’s not even necessarily their intent. Yeah, and going


back to relationships on that, I really feel like, that’s an important piece of this, like, when you’re when you feel like they’re pushing back on you, I often have to find myself circling back and figuring out if I have done enough to build trust and relationship with this person, so that she feels like she can be vulnerable, ask me her questions, bring these things to the table, without it feeling like there’s a wall between us for some reason. And that comes back to relationship for me, and making sure that she feels like I am somebody who’s willing to take her questions and hear them every time. Even if it’s still mean, she’s gonna have to continue to do what the school has asked her to do, depending, you know. So relationships still seems to be at the core of working through those types of resistance to me,


see, what would you say that that’s one of the big places that resistance resistance really comes from? Is having a lack of relationship with a coach? And do you think there are other places that that comes from?


I think relationships is really always something to step back and take a look at, like, it’s probably my first thing, I’d wonder. But then the other thing is this, the positioning of the coach at the school, this is another thing that can cause resistance is like, if the coach is positioned more like an administrator, and asked to come in and direct teachers, like an administrator, then the resistance can also come from that I feel like and when a coach doesn’t know, enough, because she’s so new, that she needs to come in from a different stance that she might come in from that administrative, authoritative stance, because she feels like that’s what she’s supposed to do. Because she doesn’t know. That’s all she has been. It’s all she’s experienced. Most of the time. The coaches that are new in the new to coaching group have never had a coach themselves. They don’t know what coaches should look like they’ve only witnessed and seen admin. I think that sometimes the stance that they’re placed in at the school can and create resistance as well.


That’s a really good point. And I’ve actually been in that position where I was told that I was had to be certain accountability measures I was on top of and there are ways that you can you can hold people accountable, that are not administrative, but I was kind of asked to do certain things that were definitely pushing the limits of coaching into administration, and I was was absolutely concerned. Because then it does look like you’re you’re responsible for evaluating them, or holding them accountable for certain administrative tasks that are really not your job. And, and that can make it look like, well, they don’t trust your relationship. They don’t trust you with somebody that was there to help. They don’t trust them as you as somebody who’s there to help them grow, because you’re actually going to be the one who’s telling the principal that they didn’t follow through on certain things.


Yeah, absolutely. I think that that, that a lot of coaches I hear that I talked to are very often put in a position where there’s a, they’ve kind of veered too close to that administrative line. And it’s not because they are intending to it’s because they’re being told. And that is a really hard place for them to be able to step back from because of the structure of the school. And so knowing what a coaching stance is and how to come into situations from a coaching stance, and changing your demeanor, about things by asking more questions, being more provoking more reflection, letting them have more ownership, these different pieces can can help you even when you have to do something, things kind of come into different things more relationally just more relationally is often going to be a way to solve a problem.


I love that and I definitely want to talk about that. A little bit more in just a couple minutes here because I want to dig into what what are some of the things that coaches can do as they see this happening. But before we do I want to say one more thing. thing that that we see, especially right now, teachers can be resistant to coaching just because the climate and the expectations are in excess and the climate is toxic or miserable, or they don’t feel valued. And then they have a to do list a million miles long, and then the coach comes in and they look at them, like, Okay, you’re gonna be one more thing I have to deal with, I don’t have any energy left for you. And it has nothing to do with you, as a coach, or even if you’ve tried to build a relationship, they’re just like, look, I thank you for trying to help up, you cannot help me with my life right now. It just


well, and I think life is often part of it. And that’s kind of where the relationship pieces like I had a teacher came back, I came back from Christmas break. And I tried to go, you know, check in with her and say hi, and her father had died recently, like, and so she had just had a miserable Christmas break of, you know, lamenting and grieving over her father’s passing. And so like she, she’s, she’s overwhelmed with the school things, then she’s overwhelmed with the life things. And then you show up to coach and and so I have to in those situations, revert back to just loving on her and you know, going back to a relationship and talking to her about how she’s feeling right now. And how was it with your family? And, and we went all back to the conversations. That’s not the instructional conversation because that one right there, she wasn’t in the headspace for it. And I’ve had several conversations like that coming back off of Christmas break that make me feel like, okay, the overwhelm is there. So what can I do? If I’m trying to push instruction and these different pieces, then I’m going to start hopping over relationships. And I just try to get back to that.


Yeah, that’s a really good point, kind of read the room, understand where they’re coming from. And that’s why relationships are important. Because if you don’t know what’s going on with them, you won’t have the background that you need to know. Okay, this is not the time to push major academic change, right, this minute. Going to be too much. So when teachers are sorry, did you want to Okay, when teachers are are showing these, these resistance moves, whenever they are avoiding rescheduling things oh, sorry, I forgot my binder. I know you were gonna look at it with me today. But I don’t have it oops, you know, can’t do it. Or overtly shouting, I actually know one person who had a small group intervention binder, like, tossed at her across the table not thrown at her, but tossed towards her and to say, well, I guess I don’t know anything, then. And then she talked to the binder towards her. So you know, that was a rough one. Yeah, that happens. I’ve never been in the vicinity of any violence, personally from teachers, but I’m sure it’s happened. And it’s not funny. It’s just shocking. So the teachers who are doing this are, you know, they are putting out some energy for sure. And how to coaches often react to that, because I know how I often react to it in my brain and how I’ve had to change that reaction. It’s not super helpful. What happens in my brain? So what do you see happen with coaches?


Well, I mean, I’d love to hear your part on that. Because I mean, I think we all have a tendency to take it very personally. And so I’m assuming that that’s probably what you’re like, tell me more about what you used to how you respond to my


internal reaction. And obviously, it’s not what I say or do, but like I was raised in it. My dad was very authoritarian. And so the the, my, my natural my brain, I don’t know if this comes across. I hope it doesn’t, I worked really hard on it. But my natural first thoughts are like, Oh, you’re gonna push back on me? Oh, right. Okay. Well, we’ll see. We’ll see. So that’s like, my thoughts. And that is not helpful. Because then it’s a power struggle, you’re making it into a power struggle, and it doesn’t need to be a power struggle. It’s actually really harmful to take it in that direction.


Yes, no, I think again, the spectrum idea continues to come to mind because you, you there’s that response, that just you’ve disrespected me response, then there’s that personal response where they are just taking it so personally. And then like, the other side of it, too, is this like, going back to that imposter syndrome, that immediate shutdown that coaches could have, like, when that happens when they’re getting resistance? They are they kind of like shut down emotionally, and don’t want to do the work anymore? Because I you know, I face this very emotional moment. And I don’t want to do that again. So you know, so I feel like you have a lot of it’s easy to come to anger in those situations, and to feel like it’s coming at you. But one of the things that helped me so much with this as a co new coach, as I did a ton of research on leadership and like, had this aha moment, was that like, they’re not mad at me. Like I need to always work on being a better coach and a better person, but they’re not mad at me. They don’t want to change whatever the changes that I’m putting in front of them. It’s actually a scientific scientific reaction to change. It’s a fight or flight type of reaction, fight, flight or freeze, right. Those are the three things that happen in your brain which change your face with change that’s in your life that’s in your work, and, and we are just naturally people that want to keep the status quo in that way. And so if we are starting to understand that the reaction is not to us and it’s instead to the change, then we can start to step in step out of the frustration personal emotions that we’re facing, and really see the situation for what it is. And, and it goes back to that social emotional needs that we talked about for our students, like our teachers, really, you know, we have to help them with understanding their emotions, their reactions, and what they are, what they’re feeling in this moment. And sometimes, like coming around openly talking about change is really important.


And how it’s hard and how we understand that it’s hard, and we can, you know, help them work through it, and everything doesn’t have to change tomorrow. I think that that’s something that people have become more aware of over maybe the last 510 years, is how much of your emotional, even like the way you were raised, and how you parent and how much of your emotional well being is involved your own social emotional learning really, is involved in teaching and parenting and coaching and any work that you do with humans. I mean, that’s why this, this whole series I’m doing it’s called the human side of coaching, because this is all about dealing like humans dealing with humans, is really challenging work.


Yeah, well, and honestly, that’s a place where that’s why I’ve done deep work in Enneagram. And I tell everyone about the Enneagram. Because there are a lot of different ways to do this work. But I have found that the Enneagram gives me a framework, and I’m sure I’m sure you’re familiar with it as well, because you’ve done some podcasts on it. But just knowing my number helps me but also understanding the overall framework and how people respond to things is just opens up my awareness and understanding of what might actually be coming at me versus what, what is coming at me, or what feels like it’s coming at me, right. So if the resistance is coming, rather than just assuming I have a framework to filter it through and think through and understand reactions, so much better. So that has been my number one tool for this. And the more I can get people share it with people, the better because I can know your know a lot more things.


While I’m a one, which may not be a shock to anyone. One wing too. So I feel like the to at least makes me a little bit nicer. But But yes, that episode that I did was episode 63 with Myrna of any UCHealth about the Enneagram is really interesting, because Enneagram for coaches. Yeah, I agree, it is so helpful to understand, oh, this is where they’re coming from, this is why this, this response looks this way they feel they have to be right, or they feel they have to be the best, or they are afraid of not having all the knowledge or whatever it is that’s motivating that response. And oftentimes, like you said, it is not necessarily about you sometimes it might be sometimes like you said the relationship isn’t there, and you got to work on it. But it’s not because they’re angry at you, you are kind of the messenger. And people love to share the messenger. Yes, they did. So you talked a little bit about this, what we can, I would love to hear more about what we can do differently to build a bridge to teachers who sometimes need us the most, because some of those teachers who are pushing back the most, or avoiding us the most are the ones who may need us the most. Not always, but often. And you mentioned a little bit about, you know, understanding their motivations, building that relationship. Coming back to that Relational Approach. I would love to hear more about what you think about this.


Yeah, one of my teachers that I just adore comes to mind. But she also has been one who has been a little more vocally resistant. And so but I I’ve only been at the school a year. And so when I, when I think about the time that I’ve tried to invest in relationship, I feel like there’s a lot more opportunities. And so it’s been going on year two, I feel like I’ve made some strides, but I haven’t really overcome resistance quite yet. And so I think one of the number one things that coaches can do is continue to build, well continue to build the trust with small moments like copier moments, walking down the hallway moments, anything you can that might allow you to truly connect with a person that you are feeling like is not really receiving. And then in that giving that time I think we think okay, well I did I talked to them, like three different times. And then now we should be able to get to work like this one right here that I’m thinking of may take me three to four years before she lets her guard down. But I know that I’ve gotten past being afraid of any kind of reaction that I’m getting. And then knowing that these are genuine questions, these are things that she wants to bring to the table. But, but knowing that relationships going to have to continue to be the place where I focus and sometimes that relationship is like offering to help like we were doing small groups and I was like let me do your binders. I’ll help you get those set up. Like I’m going to help you from that instructional perspective. And try and crack the crack the nut crack the door open, but really gonna just focus on making sure I’m building relationships with small moments of just how’s your day like Sometimes those are the questions that will ultimately gain you the trust to get in the door. But you got to give it time, and patience. And if you’re a brand new coach and you’re on your one, it got to understand year two and year three, or when that trust is truly established, and you can really start to get a lot further with it.


That is really a good point. It’s a long game, it is not a quick turnaround on building relationships with teachers who are used to being able to close their door, say, I’m going to do what I’m going to do, and this person will be gone next year, sometimes that happens, especially in schools with high turnover. And in schools where coaches have not been in classrooms very much a teacher’s like, I’m just gonna do my thing, and I’ll wait you out, I’ll wait you out, you’ll be gone. Before you know it. I’ve been here for 20 years, and you’re not, you’re not gonna stick it out. And so


like, she has been here for 20 years, and yes, walked in the door exactly like I think we because we are such strong teachers usually come out of the classroom straight to coaching, we’re ready to start sharing our knowledge. But we’re missing that like level of respect for the one who has been here 20 years, and she probably can wait you out. Like it’s


that they’ve done it before. Yes,


so we have to be mindful of that too.


Right. And that is why that’s why it’s such a long game. That is why it takes so much patience, and so much trying to understand the motivations of people who who don’t, who just don’t think the way that you do who just maybe don’t see things in the same way that you do, it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong, it’s just different. And it can be really hard to adjust to that. Especially when you are new to a building, or they are new to your building. And they’re feeling uncomfortable with all the change already. Those are just really challenging places to be in. So you mentioned a little bit about I liked the small moments a lot. The idea of just building trust over time, by by adding marbles to the jar. How can we get avoid? Because sometimes people get stuck in that I’m just here to help. So them the teachers like oh good, well, they can make my copies, they can watch my kids when I go to the bathroom. And then that’s the extent of what they want from you. So how can we avoid getting stuck there and kind of move in? How can we continue the progression towards the goal, which is changed through coaching?


Yeah, I think this is kind of a maybe a backwards way of thinking about it. But this is one of the things that’s really worked for me and that I share. And honestly, it’s that to keep focused on relationships with that teacher, but go and work with another teacher, especially one who is willing and who is ready. Because a it gets you in the door and gets you starting to do the work and feeling like okay, now I can get my head around what this looks like it’s gonna get you experience that will help you when you have to go work with that resistant teacher later. But it will also help build the rapport for you amongst the other teachers of what you’re doing and how helpful you are and, and the deeper work that you got to do with them. And that will get back to the other teachers. And so I think the resistance can sometimes be overcome by starting to develop the coaching culture by working with the ones who are willing and ready. Will it totally get us there? I don’t know. But you can start with the ones who are ready and realize that in that long game that you’re playing, you hope to bring along the others who are not as accepting. So at first.


Yeah, I agree with that. If I would say start with a friendly, just get started with somebody who wants to hear yes, yeah. Get somebody started with somebody who wants you to be there. Because if you try to push them to the rooms that are not ready for you yet, it’s going to create the name that you are there to push and to force. And that’s not going to be a good way for you to get into any classrooms. So start with a friendly and do the things that they’re excited to do. And then you can use that as leverage to get into other rooms, if you can start with a friendly who has lots of influence on their grade level even better. If they are kind of like the one who’s likely doing that, then then there is a champion. But get in that room and start with them. Even though those might be the rooms that you would not have started with. Because you’re like, well, they’re fine, they’ve got it. Just get in a door, get into a classroom and start making change happen there. And over time, if they see that you are sincere that you’re coming back every day that you are humble, that you are trying that you are supportive, and that good things happen in that classroom that you work with, then they are more likely to open their door to you.


Yeah, absolutely.


So I started this thing, this youth season where I’m asking everybody what their favorite thing is. It was actually request whenever I sent out a podcast survey, which is funny, so it’s gonna be like a book, a movie, podcast, TV show activity, whatever it is that you’re loving. So what are you loving right now? What’s your favorite thing?


Yeah, I can share with you. It’s a book. It’s called I dream big. And it’s actually a Bible study with a video series that goes with it. And it was it started in January at the beginning of the year. So if you’re listening to this podcast, but you can still go back and check it out. It’s by having a Cunnington and it has been really, really empowering. It’s the idea of Um, chasing your dreams, your big, big dreams that you have and where they come from, how to grow them how to develop them. And I felt like it was something that I really needed to hear at this point in my year coming off of, you know, starting a new semester. And so it’s been great. And I’ve been trying to share it with literally every one I know I shared it with my teachers today, I shared it on Facebook, and I’ve just been trying to make sure that if you need something to read, you need to read this book, because it’s so great. So it’s called Dream Big by habit accounting stunt, and it has a video series that goes with it, I’ll make sure that Christy has a link so that you guys can check it out. That would be great.


That’s fantastic. Thank you so much for the recommendation. So how can people find you online? Or in the real world where they can learn a little bit more about this?


Yeah, absolutely. So um, the best way to find me is to head over to your Facebook groups search bar and search, hashtag new to coaching and not the number two, like New and then to and then coaching. And that will bring into the new to coaching Facebook group. And you can request to join and I direct message everybody who joins the group and like will talk to you personally as soon as you come into the group. So I would love to connect with you there. I am I also you can also find me on Facebook. And I do have Instagram and Twitter and the types of things as well. So I’ll make sure that you have all of those. But the best place to come and hang out is a new to coaching group. I do free workshops and live sessions in there. And pretty much all of my content and things that I’m sharing happened in the Facebook group. So come hang out with us.


All right, that’s terrific. Well, thank you so much for being here today.


Yes, thank you for having me, Chrissy. All right, Coach,


I think that was fantastic. It was short and sweet. And it really covered all the basics that you really need to, to grow your relationship with resistant teachers. And to understand that it’s not always about you, which I think is so important. I actually have a and I mentioned this before, but it’s a free email challenge coaching resistant teacher, so I want you to go to buzzing with myspace.com/episode 134. And that is where you can grab that challenge. It’ll come straight to your email address. It’s like a week long. And everyday, it’ll give you something different to do to build your relationship with a teacher. I have had incredible feedback about it. And many people said that it really did change the relationship. So I really recommend that you grab it. It’s it’s in the show notes. You can also grab all the cool links that we mentioned in there too. And next week in Episode 135. We’re going to move we talked about building relationships with teachers who are resistant to us today. But next week, we’re going to move into what do we do if the whole environment is setting us up to fail? What do we do to build relationships with teachers and really do our coaching work when admin is not supportive? And the school system actually feels toxic? So I want you to join me next week and find out and until then, happy coaching


Thank you for listening to buzzing with Miss B the coaching podcast. What more coaching ideas. Check me out at buzzing with Miss b.com and on Instagram at buzzing with Miss B. If you love the show, share it with a coach who would love it too. Or leave me a review on iTunes. It’s free and it helps others find this show. Happy coaching


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