Building Relationships in a Toxic Environment with Leah Ruesink, Ep. 135 Buzzing with Ms. B: The Coaching Podcast

Episode 135 – Building Relationships in a Toxic Environment with Leah Ruesink

buzzing with ms b 

Hey coach and welcome to episode 135. Building relationships in a toxic environment. Every episode in this season of the podcast comes from questions and feedback I’ve received from coaches who are in the field right now. I sent out a survey and you all responded and one of the questions I got several times with different wordings was how can we build relationships, even if the environment is toxic. Many coaches are dealing with very unhelpful and unsupportive administration lots of top down mandates when they don’t even believe in these mandates, and then systems that tear teachers down instead of building them up. This creates negativity, toxicity, and really a sense of futility and coaching because it creates all of those things in teaching. That’s why I wanted to invite Lea Resnick here today to talk about this really important idea. So before we record, we welcome Leah to the podcast, though I did want to share one thing with you, I have a free email challenge that you can get straight into your inbox. It’s about coaching resistant teachers. And so I think that’s relevant for this episode too, because so many of our teachers feel really resistant whenever the environment is really toxic. So you can grab that at buzzing with Miss b.com/resistance. It is five days plus one the last day is a celebration, so it hardly counts. And it’s going to give you the exact steps that you need to take in order to change the way that you interact with certain teachers on your campus. It’s such a game changer. I have been told by coaches that this has changed the way they work with teachers and that impacted specific relationships. Complete 180 So grab that for free. That is buzzing with Miss b.com/resistance It will change your coaching game, I promise. So now let’s welcome Leah. So Leah is joining us today to talk about how we can build relationships with teachers, even if the environment is toxic or unsupportive. Thank you so much for being here, Leah.

guest 

Of course. Thank you for having me.

buzzing with ms b 

Could you introduce yourself to our listeners before we get started and talk a little bit about you know who you are, how you ended up here? And what kind of work you focus on?

guest 

I will Yes, hello, everyone. My name is Leah Rue sync and I am an early literacy coach in Michigan. I support young kindergarten through fourth grade teachers. And this is my second year coaching still still very new to the coaching world. Previously, I was a preschool director and teacher for a few years and then I transitioned to teach young fives and kindergarten for a few years. And actually during the pandemic. One of those years I spent virtually teaching kindergarten and young kindergarten simultaneously. So those were some wild times. And then I decided to go back to grad school while I was teaching. I was just really wanting to learn more about teaching reading and writing and best practices. So went back to grad school, and then was hired as a coach. My last six months of my program, I was hired as a literacy coach. And then I needed to do my thesis, my research thesis for that program. So I decided to do it on literacy coaching. So actually the beginning of my career as a coach, I was also doing research around my experiences as a coach. So I audio collected notes on my reflections. And it really jump started, you know, my coaching career with a reflection focus. So that was really neat. And I love that

buzzing with ms b 

that’s so interesting. It’s like an inquiry like active inquiry research, that’s great,

guest 

absolutely, definitely led me to be more reflective than I probably would have without having that research focus. And now I’m currently coaching and I’m also teaching a upper level literacy course at Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, so kind of cool to influence teacher candidates before they get into the classroom and working with teachers, our future teachers, and then also being able to work in the schools with teachers who are currently practicing. So that’s been neat to see that spectrum.

buzzing with ms b 

How interest that’s great. And that’s such important work. I feel like our our teachers are so underprepared when they hit the classroom

guest 

out Absolutely. Yep, big responsibility. So doing it. That’s great.

buzzing with ms b 

Is there anything else that you want to share about kind of what led you to this point? How’s your

guest 

Yes, coaching is going well, like I said, it’s it’s still very new. So I’m learning a lot really steep learning curve transitioning from being a teacher to a coach, which is what a lot of my research was focused on. I do a lot of work one on one with with teachers and my districts, I also work with grade level teams, which has been neat this year, I’ve started doing that working with, you know, kindergarten and first grade teams, as they’re planning and doing work together. And then I also lead some professional learning for staff as well. So it’s been kind of cool to do all those different things a lot, a lot of variety.

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, yeah, that coaching work is never boring. No, it’s like teaching teaching is never boring, either.

guest 

Very true. That’s very true. So we

buzzing with ms b 

wanted to talk today about what the, what it looks like to really kind of survive and build positive relationships with teachers, when your work environment is very toxic, because that affects people at all levels, whether the toxic toxicity is coming from your admin or from outside factors, usually, it’s the way admin is handling outside factors, or just their personality in general. Sometimes it makes it really hard to work in certain environments. So what is the toxic environments? Like? If you could define that for us? What would that look like?

guest 

Sure, well, toxic is such a strong word. And I think it differs so much from, you know, irritating or bothersome, or, you know, some of those other words we might use to describe an environment. You almost get like a physical response when you think of that word. And you can visualize something, some some memory, or maybe some image when you hear the word toxic. And I think of a podcast episode from Brene, browns dare to lead podcast, she brought on Dan and Charlie soul to talk about their research. This was this past summer, I listened to the episode. And they talked about the great resignation, and why so many people were leaving the workplace. And that got me thinking about education, because we have the same problem going on in schools, right, so many teachers are leaving the fields. And what Dan, and Charlie found was that toxic work environment was the number one reason why so many employees were leaving. And so I think this is a really applicable topic for teaching and education today. Yeah, and I would define, yeah, go ahead.

buzzing with ms b 

I’m sorry, I just had a question about that. Do you think that that work environments have become more toxic, or that we are less willing to put up with what was being put up with before? This, what does that say? Yeah, I’m wondering, changed, you know?

guest 

And I don’t know if I have the answer to that. Yeah. I don’t know if it’s probably true. Yes, teachers are burnt out. And I feel like that seems to be there seems to be more put on teachers plates. These days, I haven’t been in education for a super long period of time. So you know, but I think when I think of a toxic work environment, and I’m trying to define that word, I think of psychological safety. And then those environments, I think there’s a lack of that. Right? Teachers don’t feel like they can speak up. They don’t feel like their concerns are addressed, or they can say difficult things. So that’s the number one thing I think of when I hear toxic work environment. And like you said, I think leadership has a huge impact on the environment. So if leaders are toxic, right, and they have those qualities, they’re not creating a vulnerable, safe environment for teachers. They’re going to feel that, and you’re going to feel that when you walk in the building.

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, yeah, absolutely. There, there are some places that you feel just icky. Like I know, I have worked also with grade levels that had a really like toxic dynamic. I have worked with teams that whenever they walk into your room, you’re just like, Oh, it’s just like you walk through a swamp or something, you just feel it like you can feel the energy in that room. It’s just not in a good place.

guest 

Absolutely. And as coaches, we are so in tune right to our relationship with teachers and trying to especially when you’re coaching a team of people, you’re just very aware of how everyone’s feeling and trying to kind of facilitate that. So it can be challenging as a coach in those environments.

buzzing with ms b 

Yeah, totally. So what do you think that that some of that is coming from? Why is it like, what are some of the issues that teachers are dealing with right now that make it hard for them to relate to coaches or admin or to find common ground? Or, you know, Where’s that coming from?

guest 

Sure. Well, I think burnout is a real thing. And I don’t think it’s on a case by case basis. I think it’s a systemic issue. We’re putting so much on teachers plates, and we can’t expect them to thrive, you know, when the system is kind of built to exhaust and put all this pressure on them. So I think burnout is real and a lot of these toxic environments, taking a break is not welcomed. You know, we have you know, sub shortages and all these other things teachers really don’t feel like they can take a break when they need One. And then on top of that student needs, right? You have student behaviors and social emotional needs. So teachers are feeling that they’re feeling needs from families, they’re feeling needs from administration who needs data and assessments and to show students in school growth, right. And then even as coaches, we don’t mean to put pressure on their plates. But we come in with all this new research and these best practices. And of course, we want to collaborate and be a support. But I think it can put a wedge between us with teachers, when, you know, they don’t feel like we really understand all those other pieces that they’re dealing with.

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, totally. They, I mean, teachers are not even physically safe in their classrooms. And how on earth can we expect we’re asking people to do these really mentally exhausting things, and they literally don’t feel safe in the place that they’re at? You know? So it’s, it’s, we are asking a lot, and we’re going to continue to ask it because it’s for students, but things have to change. And that’s not the point of this podcast, obviously, is to rewrite education, but not this episode anyway. But But yeah, we are asking people to do things in in ridiculous circumstances that are just inhumane.

guest 

Absolutely, yeah. So it’s totally valid, that they’re feeling all of this pressure.

buzzing with ms b 

Yeah. Yeah. So then if, if the administration is sort of setting this toxic tone, which I mean, I have seen it happen. I’m sure you’ve seen that happen? What can a coach do to demonstrate that they are not part of this, because when you’re a coach, you’re often part of school leadership. That’s how coaches are often used. That’s just the reality. And I know there are a lot of big coaching gurus out there who are like, No, you know, you just work with the people who want to work with them. This law was lovely flowers and butterflies. But in reality, you’re sitting in all those data meetings, you’re part of that leadership team, you’re making decisions, you’re doing the walkthroughs, even though they’re not admitted, like administrative evaluative, walkthroughs, you’re in those classrooms, you’re doing all the same kinds of things. So how can you separate yourself and show that you are not a part of that administration? Even if you are part of school leadership?

guest 

Absolutely. And that’s a really great question. And one of the most important questions we have to consider, especially as new coaches, it feels to me like there’s the spectrum where teachers are on one side, and you know, administrators are on one side. And when we come into our role, as coaches, we have to kind of figure out where we fit in, in and how, you know, how we can relate to administrators and position ourselves with teachers and administrators. So I think, first of all, we have to understand our own role, and really understand that ourselves, which is something I’ve been developing over time and realized I didn’t have a great grasp on when I first started coaching, I knew my responsibilities, right? And I knew basically what I’d be doing throughout the day. But I’ve really had to, through experience, kind of learn how to define that to myself. So I can define it to teachers, and administrators, many administrators don’t have a great grasp on our role as well. So I think using that language to position ourselves and explicitly describe our role to teachers, and then explaining what is disclosed with building administrators when we are in those meetings with principals, what are we disclosing to them, teachers need to know that what we talk about with teachers is confidential, we’re not going to share that with their building leader. So I think to develop that trust, we have to have that confidentiality piece so that they can trust us.

buzzing with ms b 

Yeah, you know, I’m so glad you brought that up. Because it seems like every time I have a coaching call with a coach, we talk about the issues that they’re having, which are valid issues, we all have struggles, oh, I’m struggling to work with PLCs. I’m struggling with getting teacher buy in. Teachers aren’t interested in coaching cycles. And when I ask about, have you clearly defined your role for yourself, for your admin, and for your teachers, 90% of the time, that is the problem. Like that’s a real problem, right? The root of the problem is, I’m not totally sure what my role is. And my administrator has like a weird vision of it that changes every week. And then my teachers are making up what they think my role is, which is not always super flattering. And it is a very hard position to be in when you’re not totally nailed down on what is my job? How am I going to do it? How is what is my placement in this weird bureaucracy of school because as a coach, I was not even considered promoted. I was on a teacher salary. It was like a lateral move. That was it. But I had to go in extra and I had to participate in extra stuff and I had to be part of leadership team and show up at seven o’clock on Monday mornings for our leadership meetings and stay after school till whatever Our you know, doing family nights, and all of those things were just expected, even though it was a lateral move, but that was just part of the role teachers looked at me as there’s more of a leadership capacity administrative almost. And administration was like, well, you’re on a teacher pay us get pay scale, you know, so, it is a weird place to be in

guest 

it, definitely, uh, yeah, and I think, I think coming up with like, an elevator pitch or a couple sentences that you can quickly communicate to teachers is so important, you know, sitting down and saying, If I have two minutes with this teacher, or I’m gonna see them in the hallway today, what are a few sentences I could use to describe my role so that they know right away, I’m not the evaluator. I am their partner in planning, right. So thinking about that one of my first interactions I had with an experienced teacher who was brand new to our building. And I had sent an email, asking if I could come in and meet students, and just, you know, get to know, everyone in the school. And this teacher invited me in and I remember walking into her classroom. And I could just tell by her body language, she was so nervous to have me in there and really didn’t understand who I was what I was doing in there. She’d never had experience with coaching before. So this was just a foreign experience to her. I was in a room for a few minutes. And then as I was about to leave, I went up to her and, you know, kind of mirrored her body language and smiled, I wanted to make her feel comfortable and affirmed. And I use that elevator pitch, just so you know, I’m 100%, non evaluative. I’ll be your coach this year. And we can talk more about what that looks like. Here’s my coaching menu. This describes a few things that I can do to support you in the classroom. So look it over. But I just want you to know, I’m not an evaluator. I’m a partner in planning. And I’ll be here to support you this school year. Right? So just something short and sweet that you can communicate to teachers and something explicitly to give them. I like that a coaching mind.

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, having something on paper is so helpful that they can, because in the moment, if they’re like a deer in the headlights, once you leave, they’re like, ah, and then if they have something on paper, they can look at they can be like, Okay, that’s what this was.

guest 

Sure, yeah. And I’ve heard of coaches making videos and doing other things to explicitly communicate their role. So just some way of making that explicit and concrete.

buzzing with ms b 

Absolutely. Yeah. So then what are you just shared a really great example of how we can maybe lower some of the barriers when we’re first working with teachers, what are some things that we as coaches are maybe doing that is actually harming our relationship with teachers when we’re in this environment, I because I picture like, I picture I mentioned, you know, grade levels coming into PLC, I used to work with one teacher who was a fantastic teacher, but she was one of those people that exudes whatever feeling she is having at the moment it is pouring out of her. And I can remember her coming into the class to my room once for PLC, and she just was like, angry, just it was just she was trying to stay calm, but it was just coming out everywhere. And it was just so clear that she was upset. And I of course, like you said, were so attuned to these relationships. I was like, Oh, my gosh, she is so angry at me. I do not she doesn’t want to be here. I don’t know what I did. But it has ticked her off royally. And now what am I gonna do? And so you’re just like stressing before you even get into the conversation. So then your blood pressure is up, your anxiety is up, you know, all of your stress reactions are happening. And that makes it hard to have a good interaction with the teacher. Right? So assuming that intense or assuming that, that you have anything to do with what’s going on, I think it’s one of the things that I used to do that was really a challenge for me to undo. But what are some things that you have experienced with Are you seeing that coaches are doing that harm their relationships?

guest 

Yeah, well, like you said, it’s so easy to take things personally, just because coaching is so relational, right? And we can’t do any of the work that we do without that relationship piece. We’re not evaluating teachers, right? We really need that teacher buy in, for it to be a partnership that works. And so there’s a lot of emotions that come with coaching. And out of that, sometimes we do make mistakes as coaches. And I just want to say upfront, it’s okay. Some of these things that I’ll mention, if you’ve done some of these things, as a coach, you’re normal. I think we all do these as humans, and I’ve done all the people that I’m about to talk about. And it’s not the end of the world, right? It’s not going to ruin your relationship. But, you know, we’re just talking about things that can harm your relationship we want to stray away from Yes, so when I started coaching, I was so worried about this relationship piece and just worried about being discarded. That’s the word that came up in a lot of my research was I was so worried that I would do this one thing, and that teacher would discard me and you know, think oh, there this coach is not important and I don’t need them. You know, they don’t know enough. All these all these thoughts that came into my head. But I think one thing I learned is telling and fixing is the number one thing that can harm our relationship with teachers. I had a brand new teacher that I met with early on in the school year, and she really needed a lot of support. And her word, she said she was drowning, having all these behaviors popping up in her classroom. And I remember going into a room to meet with her for the first time, and just telling her all the things that I used to do all these great ideas, right, and giving her a list of 123. Try these things. Let me know how it goes. But it wasn’t sustainable. Right, we didn’t continue working together. And it wasn’t because she was upset with me, right, but she just didn’t feel that partnership. You know, adults really wanted to be a part of the process, and they want the buy in. So I think that’s one thing telling and fixing. And that approach to coaching is one thing we can do to harm my relationship with teachers, I think also giving too much too fast, we have to be aware of cognitive load, and all those things that teachers are dealing with. So if we’re giving all these new resources too fast, teachers may not be able to take it all in at once. There’s some research from Susan Lally, and Erin Brown’s book, no more random acts of coaching, which is a great book if you’re brand new coach little plug for that one. And the research states that it takes 14 to 20 hours to change teacher practice in one area. So when we’re thinking about these resources that we’re giving to teachers, we have to keep that in mind that they need time to soak in that new information. And then they also need time to practice it and apply it with support. So, you know, we can’t just expect to give teachers something, and then to apply it right away, it just takes time. And then spending too much time outside the classroom is another one that can harm our relationship with teachers, when teachers are seeing us working on all these other things that don’t have to do with our coaching relationship, it can actually harm their perception of us. Right. And I think there’s there’s research that states, the more time that coaches spend with teachers actually raises student achievement. So there’s there’s research that shows we should be spending more of our time working directly with teachers. And then lastly, I would say, taking on administrative roles, the more administrative roles we’re taking on that that really can harm our relationship with teachers where they begin to see us more on that administrative side of the scale. Right. And it can it can hurt our relationship or collaborative relationship with them.

buzzing with ms b 

Yeah, that’s a good point. And I think that that’s a challenge a lot of coaches find themselves in, is being handed administrative roles, especially by a toxic administrator, because they’re like, look, that’s just what you need to do. Like it’s all hands on deck, it’s always all hands on deck, right? It’s always a fiasco, it’s always a catastrophe. And so you have to jump in to help you require it. It’s just it’s other duties as assigned to deal with it. And that can be really hard to walk that line. You know, to to say, you know, what, I’m concerned about how this is going to impact this. And this, if I’m taking this on, what am I dropping? You know, and it’s hard to have those conversations with admin who are not great.

guest 

Absolutely. And I think as new coaches are, when we’re training our new coaches, they need more time to think about those scenarios. How will you navigate your role and your positioning when you’re put in these different scenarios? That was one thing I reflected on? In my first year, I wasn’t really prepared for all these different scenarios and how I would position myself.

buzzing with ms b 

What do you what are your thoughts on complaining about admin with teachers? Because I was just talking about this. I’m just picturing how many times teachers sometimes make a comment so they can see what your responses because they want to gauge whose side you’re on?

guest 

Absolutely, yeah, this is a great question. I do think that venting is okay. And I think as coaches building that relationship, it’s okay to listen to teachers hear out all their thoughts, without telling them, you know, don’t worry about it, it’s going to be okay. I think it’s a really good thing just to fully hear and be an active listener, and be a safe place, especially in these toxic environments where it’s not safe to voice your opinions, right. But I think we do have to be very careful with our response. So I attended cognitive coaching, which is an amazing, amazing training for communication and questioning techniques as coaches and we learned a problem resolving conversation, which is really kind of a way to redirect when teachers are having a problem a way to kind of put it back on them and help them think through that problem. So that’s been helpful for me as a coach. But you’re right, it’s kind of a wavy line. And we have to be really careful as coaches not to get pulled in, right to gossip and negative talk about administrators are kind of, you know, can be put in that uncomfortable position.

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, it can be very difficult, whenever and so I think, yeah, like you said, responding appropriately to that and saying, you know, that sounds really hard, I can hear that you’re really frustrated about that. And I can understand why that would be frustrating, you know, validating what they’re saying, if you can be the safe space where they can voice complaints, you are already setting yourself apart for the administration, without having to complain about them, as well and say, Oh, my gosh, I know, like, they always tell me to do things that are not my job. You know, if you’re starting to go down that, well, it just creates like this really little, like a little rain cloud, you know, and so the nothing good will come out of it. But like we talked about this problem solving conversation, I love that, would you share a little bit more about that?

guest 

Yeah, so I think really, the focus is identifying what the behavior is and what the emotion is, right? So we’re identifying specifically, what the teacher is feeling. And then we’re kind of guiding them to make the next step. So instead of us telling them, I have some ideas for you, why don’t you try one of these three things, we’re asking them, what might be a good idea for them to try, right. So we’re just kind of putting them in the driver’s seat, as the decision maker, which is what cognitive coaching is all about, is really letting teachers be the ones who are doing most of the talking and most of the thinking, and as coaches, we are facilitating that conversation. And that’s a skill I did not have as a brand new coach, that training completely changed how I think about facilitating conversation. And it’s, you know, so empowering to be able to have kind of that pathway for how to ask questions. That was one of my biggest questions I had as a new coach, how do I do this? What kind of questions do I ask? Right?

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, yeah, I love that. So then your, your talked a little bit about some of the good things that we can do. In order to kind of build a bridge, what else can we do to build a bridge to teachers, whenever our admin is just creating a really negative environment, or, you know, when they’re just not supportive of coaching? Because so many coaches have told me, Well, my admin just kind of said, it’s so weird, because I came from a very controlled district where it was like, you will do this, you are accountable for this. If you do not, you know, do a good job at these things, you will be back in the classroom like that. So I was like, trained as a coach. And then I thought happened, I thought coaches get moved back into the classroom. I was like, Oh, dear, that is not happening. I’m not doing that. But so then I hear from coaches who are like, Well, my admin, just kind of like, well, just, you know, if they want to work with you, we don’t want to take too much of their time. We don’t want to, you know, like step on anybody’s toes. So, you know, you they ask, Well, can I have an opportunity to, like, introduce my role as a coach? Well, I mean, maybe you could just send an email, like, they’re just like, they create a really negative coaching environment, because they don’t support it. So sometimes they’re like actively undermining it. And sometimes they just don’t support it. And that’s why it’s hard. So what can coaches do in either of these situations whenever they’re dealing with that?

guest 

Yeah, and those are two completely they are. Right. But as coaches, you know, we’re going into these schools, many times schools that we’ve been, we’ve been teaching at another place, and then we’re going into this brand new district or brand new school, I think, number one, we have to give ourselves some time and space to identify what’s going on. If the environment is toxic, you know, whatever the environment is, we have to give us some give ourselves some time to figure it out, which takes a lot of listening, joining in on grade level meetings, going to staff meetings. That’s what I did a lot of my first few months coaching was just sitting in on on grade level team meetings, and just listening, figuring out the beliefs and thoughts and feelings around different things going on in the school. But I think in addition to that, right, we talked about how influential leadership is, we really do need to build that relationship with building leaders as much as possible. And I think setting up weekly or bi weekly, or monthly meetings with administrators is so important, if possible, and I recognize that not every district, not every coach is going to be able to do that. But being the one to initiate it, because in some districts principals might initiate those meetings if they’re not, you can be the one is the coach to kind of set those up and say let’s just have a touch base. I just want to support you and get to know what’s going on and you know, be a part of a This. So I think those regular meetings with administrators is incredibly important. And then I think showing appreciation in these toxic environments, a lot of times teachers are not getting that appreciation and that recognition. You know, and I think as coaches we can fill in. And we can be that for not only teachers, but also for administrators. So being appreciated, you know, is an under underestimated thing, we need to be appreciating our teachers and our educators more than we do. And then I would say, to creating a structure for coaching, which is not an easy thing as a brand new coach. But even if the school structure feels kind of chaotic and toxic, we can kind of create a coaching structure within that, I think, by communicating to our teachers, what coaching will look like, effectively communicating, right, maybe we’re using a coaching cycle, so we can explain to teachers will be pre conferencing, then we’ll plan together, then we’ll teach and then we’ll debrief so kind of walking through this will be the structure for our coaching time together. Even if, like I said, the rest of the school culture is not feeling super structured and communication isn’t, isn’t going well there. So that regular and consistent communication, I think is is so important.

buzzing with ms b 

Those are such great ideas, I really liked the idea of thinking about your own coaching work as having its own little structure within chaos. Because then at least you you have that to cling to that can give you a little bit of peace. And it can help teachers understand like there’s some predictability. And there’s comfort with unpredictability. So if they know what’s coming, they will be more likely to say okay, yes, I feel okay with that when they don’t know what’s coming. And many times in those kinds of environments who don’t, then you like revert to this like reptilian brain where you’re just surviving, and you’re defensive, and everything is a threat. But if they know what’s coming, then even just your presence can be calming.

guest 

Yes, yeah. So I think communication is just an important thing that we value as coaches follow ups. If you’re meeting with a teacher, you follow up after with an email, all those little pieces of communicating effectively, like you said, are just important to teachers, especially in those chaotic environments. Yeah. And then one thing I’d also say, too, is student centered coaching, is something I’m learning a lot about right now. And I’m not an expert at it by any means. But just that focus on student data, I think is something we can put greater focus on in schools. And that’s something that administration is interested in, right? Building leaders care about student data and student growth, teachers care about student data and student growth. So it’s something we can kind of all all get on the same page about. So I think making sure our coaching work is focused on student data as much as possible, and driving the work we do with teachers based on that work,

buzzing with ms b 

or that data? Will you agree, yes, having that shared goal, it can change the way that you interact with people, because you’re not talking about well, what are you doing well, and what are you doing badly or wrong? You are saying this is what we see happening with kids. And this is leisure, like, what can we do? What can we do to change what we see happening? And I really like the Diane Sweeney books for that she’s got some great books about students that are coaching out. And they are excellent in terms of using that to drive your interactions with teachers. And with admin, like you said, because a conversation admin will try sometimes to complain about teachers. And if you’re just that’s not a good place for you to be, you can start by moving those conversations more towards students and say, Okay, well, what are we seeing in the kids? What do we need to do for the kids? Not so much? What is this teacher? Like? What are what is her, you know, lack of skill set or whatever complaints that they have?

guest 

Absolutely, yep. It sets us up for a collaborative relationship more positive focus.

buzzing with ms b 

Yes. So then how can we actually influence the environment in these situations? You mentioned a little bit about environment, in terms of bridge building, right with teachers. How can we, I mean, if we’re seeing all this negativity, we’re seeing that teachers needs are not being met, which in the end means that student’s needs are not being met? What What can we do in this weird auxilary position that we’re in to support teachers?

guest 

Yeah, well, I think number one, we have to recognize that it’s, it’s not our job to fix the environment. That puts way too much pressure on us as coaches. And we, you know, have such a desire to influence these buildings and these teachers and these students, but we have to first recognize that it’s not our job to fix. We can have an influence but we’re not We’re not fixing the the whole environment, right? I think we can model the kind of environment that we want schools to have, we can model that open and vulnerable communication, we can model those psychologically safe environments. A lot of us as coaches, lead professional development and building leaders are sitting in on those those times, and teachers are seeing what we’re doing. So we can model that vulnerability, right. And we can model those things for for whole groups of staff. I think also just continuing to work on the relationship piece, that collaborative, that collaborative piece, and making sure that teachers voices are heard, we’re raising up their voices and making them feel like they’re a part of something. And their identity matters.

buzzing with ms b 

Yeah, totally agree being sort of like a, like a go between, like, you can say, you know, this is something that I’ve seen pop up a lot to your admin, if you feel like that’s something you can safely do what you don’t always feel that way. But if you can, you know, if you want to say, you know, I’m noticing teachers seem to be struggling with this, you know, is there something that we can do for that I was thinking maybe we could try this, it sometimes bringing something to an admins attention is at least a start in the right direction? Because they may just not see how their behavior is impacting others?

guest 

Absolutely, we’re kind of that in between. And especially if we’ve already started to develop that relationship with the building leaders, we have more of an impact, right?

buzzing with ms b 

Yes, for sure. Yeah. Because you’ve set yourself up to be that person, you’re the same person with teachers and with admin, but you are, you know, you’re trying to maintain a calm presence and a safe space. And you know, that like you mentioned, problem solving, you know, positivity, like not fake positivity, not toxic positivity. But, you know, saying, you know, what, I’m sure we can figure something out, what can we do? You know, if we can approach both our admin and our teachers that way, then then maybe we can have an impact on the way people do business. Absolutely. Yeah, I’ve loved all of this information. This has been some really great tips about really kind of focusing, like you said, like your locus of control, what can you do in your position, you cannot change the whole school, you cannot change teachers, you cannot change admin. But what can you do with what you have control over? And I just love that focus? I think it’s a very healthy way to approach working in a very tough spot.

guest 

Yeah, so thank you.

buzzing with ms b 

Yeah. Thank you. I would love I have one more question for you. And it is, what is your favorite thing right now? And this is just something I’ve started asking this season. And I’m so glad that I have because I’ve gotten some fantastic answers. But it could be you know, book, TV show a podcast, product, whatever it is that you’re loving right now.

guest 

I love that question. It’s hard to one thing.

buzzing with ms b 

I know.

guest 

You know, I would say I’ve been doing a lot of sitting lately. And so doing something active, I feel like has been really helpful for me. So I’ve started doing yoga. Oh, great, hot or warm. Yeah. Especially where I’m at in Michigan. You know, it’s freezing this time of year. Outside, it’s been sleeting. Rain and snowing. So it’s been really nice to, to have some movement time. So hot yoga has been has been a really nice break for me and just nice to breathe and relax and take some time outside of everything else going on in life.

buzzing with ms b 

I love it. That’s great. And you know, that’s another thing that you can do in a toxic environment is to try to get some movement. Because that, that can just change your whole like your whole center of gravity, you know, everything changes.

guest 

Mm hmm. It does.

buzzing with ms b 

So if people want to learn more from you, how can they find you online or in the real world?

guest 

Yes, so I have an Instagram account. That’s kind of my my main hub. Happy chatter classroom is where you can find me on Instagram. And I also have under the same name happy chatter classroom on Teachers Pay Teachers. I’m starting to add some products for coaches. All right, Granger’s.

buzzing with ms b 

Awesome. All right. Well, thank you so much for being here. Leah. I really appreciated this.

guest 

Yes, thank you so much. This was so fun.

buzzing with ms b 

That was some really good information. And I really liked the idea of just kind of focusing on what you can control and being a safe space. For teachers. I think those are two things that are very doable, and that as coaches we can do really, no matter what your coaching environment is. You can grab the show notes for this episode at buzzing with recipe.com/episode 135 and you can also grab a webinar that can help you do some of the things that Leah was talking about in this episode. My define your coaching role webinar is at buzzing with Miss b.com/webinar And it includes what you need to do to define your role for yourself and to communicate it with your admin and And teachers, it will solve so many of your problems. So grab that webinar for free, along with a handout at buzzing with rsby.com/webinar. I also have some resources that can help you do this in my store. And so those are the coaching presentations slideshow, and a coaching menu. Those resources you can get them at my TPT store teachers pay teacher’s dot com and search for buzzing with Miss B or Chrissy Beltran, it’ll show up both ways. You’re going to want to grab the coaching slideshow and menu and it’s going to help you introduce your role to teachers and provide them with a tangible document that they can use to help them figure out how they want to work with you as a coach. Next week, we are talking about the elephant in the room. So far, we’ve talked about communication and we’re talking about admin. We’re going to talk about how to coach teachers who don’t think like you. This is a huge hurdle for coaches that we don’t often expect when we moved from the classroom. It was a huge challenge for me, so I’m excited to share this episode with you when I talk with Ashley Hubner, and until then, happy coaching.