Working with teachers (who don’t want you around): The Instructional Coaching Series

We’re here.

• They don’t like you as a person (not likely; it’s usually the other reasons).
• They think you’re going to tattle on them or gossip about them (don’t do it).
• They’re overwhelmed with a million demands already. 
• They’ve had really bad experiences with coaches in the past.
• They don’t know what you do or how you can make their teaching lives better or more purposeful.
• They don’t want to do the things you’re proposing because it’s hard or scary.
• You stress them out because they think you’re going to make them do stuff they don’t want to do.
• They don’t want to change (It might not be nice to say it, but sometimes it happens).
• They don’t want to try anything different because it could mean more work (this also happens).
• They think you’re going to tell them what they’re doing is “wrong”. 

I know, you probably didn’t even know half of that stuff was being pegged onto you. And every campus is different, to be sure, but on many campuses, this is the impression teachers have of coaches – sometimes because that’s the kind of coach they worked with before.

In a previous post, I mentioned that, when you start coaching, you want to start with someone who would like to try new things. Don’t start with the person who rolls her eyes every time you open your mouth.

BUT you can not stay in that happy place. If you are going to support kids on your campus, that’s all kids, not just the ones in the classrooms where the teachers like you. Which means you have to take a deep breath and get in the game.

And you have to work with those teachers who don’t want you around.

But how? HOW HOW HOW HOW?

Here are a few things to do before you even try to approach those teachers to support them in their classrooms.

#1 Introduce yourself and what you do.
Maybe you’ve been on campus for three years and it should be obvious. But guess what! It’s not. The teachers who don’t want you around might not know what support you can provide, so you may have to reintroduce yourself and your services. You can do this with a coaching menu like this one from my Coaching in Classrooms Kit, or with a PowerPoint or Keynote presentation like the one in my Coaching in Classrooms Kit.

Another great way to show what you can do is to have teachers provide testimonials. Keep it simple. Ask them to share the kind of support you provided and what the outcome was.

#2 Maintain a positive attitude 
Nobody likes to work with a grouch. If you have a generally positive demeanor and a good personality, that will go a long way to getting people to open their doors to you.

#3 Demonstrate empathy
We show empathy by listening and feeling how the person feels. Think back to your time as a teacher. Say things like, “Oh, that’s hard. I know what that’s like. It made me feel like…” But don’t make the conversation about you. Always offer support before the conversation ends. You might say something like, “Would you like to get together to work on that? I can meet with you on Friday and we can try to figure something out together.”

#4 Demonstrate credibility
If you don’t know anything, nobody is going to ask you to help them. That might sound harsh, but we’ve all worked with someone who isn’t able to support us because they have limited knowledge or experience of teaching and learning. If your knowledge or experience is limited, don’t give up. Instead, grow it. Read books. Watch videos. Attend trainings. And work in the classroom with teachers who are knowledgeable so you can benefit from their experience. We all have to keep learning.

#5 Use another classroom as a door to collaboration
If you’re modeling a lesson or coteaching in a classroom, you can invite the teacher who isn’t excited about support to come watch. This is a low-stakes way to get that teacher in the door that doesn’t involve letting you into his or her classroom or being vulnerable in any way. Provide coverage for his or her class by scheduling a technology lesson or a library lesson. Provide the teacher with an observation guide so they can take notes about the lesson and you can have a debriefing conversation. Then segue into the support they would like.

#6 Focus on the goals that are important to them
Even complaints can be made into goals. “My kids can’t add without using their fingers.” is not a nice thing to say, but it might be true!

As a coach, you can take this statement and flip it into a coaching goal. Say, “So what I’m hearing is that you’d like your students to learn different strategies for addition.” BAM! Now you’ve got a goal to work on together!

“I’m available on Tuesday at 3:00! I’d love to meet with you so we can figure out some next steps for working with your kids!

#7 Watch what you say and do
Everything you say and do is being used to judge you: your personality, your teaching ability, and how trustworthy you are. Teachers who don’t want to work with you are sometimes looking for an excuse. And if they’ve had a bad experience before, they’re looking for confirmation that you are the same. Don’t give it to them. Do not say anything snotty, overtly pushy, or bossy. Be yourself, with a personality, but manage your emotions. It’s a hard thing to do as a coach, but it’s essential for building a relationship with teachers – especially the ones who don’t want you around.

In addition to this, be on time and don’t take a long lunch. Nobody likes it if you take advantage of your position.

#8 The most important thing to do: add value
Add value to things teachers do. Make relevant suggestions. Help them think through tough situations. Provide quality PD. Show that you care. Give them the tools they need. Help them figure out how to use the tools they have.

But, remember this: you are kind, you are supportive, but you are relentless. EVERY child deserves to learn. If there’s a classroom that needs your support, don’t stop until you’ve made it happen in a positive way.

This is the last post in the series! Click on these topics to read about conducting a coaching cycle,  planning collaboratively with teachers, and preparing to model and coteach!

Other posts in the Summer Coaching Series: 

• Tips for getting started
• Coaching services menu
• Classroom sweep form
• Coaching invitations (black and white)
• Using the gradual release model to coach teachers
• Coaching plan
• Observation guide
• Debriefing sentence starters
• Thank you notes

You can get them all by entering your email address below!
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