Melisandre Monday: Spoilers abound

Can I just say…

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

I told you so! I told you so!

Woohoo!

 

And what’s even better, I have proof! Check out last week’s post to see how I was right about Jon Snow.  

And now, back to business.

When the show opens, Bran is hanging around Winterfell of the past. I liked it. It made me so happy to think that Ned had a decent childhood. You know, because his adulthood kind of stunk.

And then we learn about Hodor Willis! What’s that about? I was terrified that he was going to fight Benjen and then Benjen would bop him on the head and that’s why he can only say Hodor. That obviously didn’t happen. 

There’s some sort of significance to the word “hodor,” but I have no theories about what that is. When Bran asks him why he can’t talk again, I almost feel like Hodor was trying to communicate something. Ack, depressing.

I like Meera and all, but I wasn’t that interested in anything she had to say. 

So moving on.
      

As soon as the scene changed to Castle Black, everybody froze up, right? All those arrows at the ready? Ollie in the crowd of men outside the door? And Jon Snow, still dead. 

“For now,” I told my friend wisely.

At this point, as Aliser’s men a’re breaking down the door, I was like, “Just wait one more minute! I’m sure the wildlings are on their way! Edd will finally come through!” And then we heard it… The thunk… of a GIANT! YESSSS! Wildlings attack!!

It was a short-lived battle, really. Just took one guy to hit the giant with an arrow and have his head exploded against the wall, and that was about it. Ollie was the only one who didn’t know when he’s been beat. 

Go Edd!

And then they go back up to the room. And Jon Snow is still dead.

Everybody’s sad about it. Except for me. I know he’ll be back.

The moment we heard that guy talking about Cersei on the streets, you knew he was gonna die, right? Because that’s just how it goes in King’s Landing. And this time, it was the Frankenstein Mountain. Another exploded head.

 Honestly, those eye stone things are probably the creepiest part of the show. They’re creepier than Melisandre and her shadow baby, even. The High Sparrow says the stones help to remind us not to fear death. Ummmm…. I don’t think it’s working.

And then there’s Tommen. Poor, poor Tommen. He’s really helpless. And what’s worse is that he knows it.

And then there was some stuff with Jaime and the High Sparrow (tense) and with Tommen and Cersei (wine).
      

I want a T-shirt that says, “That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.” Maybe that should be the tagline of this blog. Maybe I should hang it on a sign outside my door at school. I feel so connected to Tyrion right now. He’s one of my favorite people. (*Edit: Just found this. It is, apparently, a T-shirt already.)

When Tyrion & Varys head down into the catacombs, I had serious anxiety. I remembered the last time someone headed down there – he got burned up – and even though I knew (remember, I know things) that he’d be fine, it was still pretty stressful. I love that he told them a story. This interaction really added to the dragons’ personalities and demonstrated how intelligent they are. I can’t wait to see where that goes. 

Also, is it just me, or did you get a feeling that there’s some Targaryen in Tyrion? If the legends are true… Well, I’m just sayin’ it would explain a lot. It’s not a perfect theory, of course.

So…Ramsay was busy…

Ummm…. he became an orphan and an only child in the span of ten minutes… not really sure what to say about that. Sicko. What’s the most horrific death? I think the Viper’s death was pretty bad. Ramsay deserves soooooooooo much worse. I think he might finally be in over his head. Can’t wait for episode three.

Arya was pretty incredible. I definitely would have said, “I’m Arya Stark. Now give me my eyes back.”

Ugh, Theon. He’s sorry, but he’s awful, but he’s sorry he’s awful. I’m not really sure how to feel about Theon.

Life at the Iron Islands must be the most horrible existence. It’s miserable.

Melisandre looks totally defeated. Ser Davos is so loveable. He’s literally asking the woman who burned Shireen for help. He asked the question we all wanted to ask. “Do you know of any…magic that can bring him back?” Yes, Davos. Yes, she does. 

Melisandre started by cleaning up Jon’s (manly) torso. She cut little snips from his thick, wavy locks with the worst pair of scissors ever created. She washed his hair (inexplicably). When her theme song started playing as she rested her hands over his wounds, you knew you were in for a show. 

I was terrified. I spouted off, like eight theories in one minute.

He’s going to come back in Ghost!

Ghost is going to be the price for blood magic!

They’re going to burn him up and he’ll just be sitting there the next morning like Dany!

Once Davos (and everybody) left the room, and Ghost started to pick up his head, I got really excited. Just wait! I shouted. He’s gonna gasp for air and wake up! He’s going to! 

And then he did! YAAAAYYYY!

So that was a very satisfying episode. A couple thoughts: