Why Twilight Stinks
I know this post will have consequences.
I have already been informed that I may lose followers.
Sometimes it’s important to take a stand.
The other day, my friend texted me and asked, “Wanna go watch Twilight ironically?”
If he had asked me to watch it sincerely, I would have said no. Oh, save it. I gave it a chance.
I gave it four chances, by which I mean I read all four books. Why did I read all four when I didn’t enjoy the first one?
I was waiting for something to happen.
Something like Bella developing a personality.
So, although it only took me a few days over the summer, I feel like that time was pretty much poorly spent.
I hadn’t seen any of the movies. I figured they were cheesy.
Until this one.
I know I didn’t exactly approach it with a good attitude. Instead of thinking, “Now’s my chance to see what this is all about,” I was thinking, “Now’s my chance to see that I’m right and this is ridiculous.”
Yes, that could have colored my thinking, but I think I still would have identified these reasons why Twilight stinks.
1. You could see the makeup on Edward’s face. Nuff said.
2. During the werewolf summit, I felt like I was watching a Disney movie. They were snarling and snapping and growling and speaking telepathically and it was still so cute.
3. Bella still doesn’t have a personality aside from self-loathing. Edward’s only character trait is old. That’s it. He’s old. He’s like two hundred years old and he still enjoys spending his time with sixteen-year-olds? I don’t even like spending time with sixteen-year-olds and it hasn’t been that long since I’ve been one.
4. When Edward dramatically declares to everyone that the other wolves can’t hurt someone who’s been imprinted on, and he says, “It’s their most important law,” I heard “It’s their mostest importantest law.”
5. Can you say green screen? In some scenes, it looked like they were standing in front of a movie about a beach. Didn’t they have budget?
6. Aren’t the vampires supposed to be gorgeous? Isn’t that the point of the whole series? Rule number one of vampire movies – vampires are hot. Ummm…I didn’t see too much to look at. Alice was the only one who didn’t look like she was wearing a wig. Carlyle looked like he should have been part of a Swedish Eurokid band, and Esme had a fivehead. Seriously, like she ran into a wall or something.
What bothers me about all this is that everyone acts like there was so much hotness to drool over. I don’t know. Jacob and Edward look like little boys.
When Jacob is strategizing with the Cullens, my friend turned to me and loudly said, “For military strategists, they sure are gossipy.”
So I’m sorry if this means you hate me. I had to speak the truth.
To further illustrate my point so eloquently, visit The Oatmeal and find out How Twilight Works.
To make it better, I have a freebie for you! Yay!
Happy New Years!
LOL!!!! I never read the books–never wanted to, and watched the first movie because I was too lazy to find the remote and change the channel. I don't get it either…….Not my cup of tea!
Have you read The Hunger Games? I'm about to start (at my daughter's urging), and I'm just not so sure I'm going to like it!
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Live Laugh and Love to Learn
I actually really enjoyed the books (except that the last one really reminded me of Rosemary's Baby
), but I have to admit that the movies don't do them justice!
Jennifer @ Herding Kats In Kindergarten
I also enjoyed the books- couldnt read them fast enough- saw the first movie- and it was all ruined for me…they didn't look like they were supposed to (in my head)
Poop! The posters are BAD cute!!!
Haha! I love me some Twilight, the books though…not the movies so much. I went to the midnight show of the newest one and I wantedto punch myself in the throat. Not to mention my boyfriend is still holding it against me.
The posters are super cute!
Adventures of a Third Grade Teacher
You will not lose me as a follower — I loved this post and you're allowed to have your opinion! I see all of your points. But I loved the books and the movies anyway. Call me crazy. Most people do!!! 🙂
A Teeny Tiny Teacher
I read all the books and I enjoyed them, but I have a hard time with them because I think they send young girls a terrible message!! "Let your boyfriend run your life… be miserable when he doesn't." Ay caramba.
hahha! LOVE it! Yes, I did love the books…well, not really breaking dawn…but the first one I read and instantly had to go get the other ones. But I will say the movies are a JOKE!! Bella CAN NOT ACT…well, except in this last movie – when she was lying dead, she was really good then! lol And yes, the wolves talking was a little hokey…and no, non of them are really good looking! TOTALLY not what I had envisioned as I was reading…THAT'S for sure! haha!
The Teachers’ Cauldron