Ahh, winter break. A time of baking cookies and wrapping presents. Driving around looking at Christmas lights, and cozying up with a mug of hot chocolate. Being sedated and having your wisdom teeth ripped out of your face.
Yes! I know! Why would I schedule my wisdom teeth removal for my winter break?! Because starting in January, my insurance is changing, and this oral surgeon wouldn’t be accepting my insurance anymore. I’d already gone through the referral process and been to the consultation, and my teeth were hurting every day. I couldn’t wait any longer. So I did it.
Please keep in mind that while I’m writing this, I’m doped up on a lot of stuff. Like, a lot. Like, I have had to backspace for every word of this entry because my fingers are all moving at different speeds. My brain’s a little fuzzy and I’m having a hard time writing things that make sense.
I was awfully nervous on the way there, but I knew I had to go. There wasn’t really any alternative – they had to come out! So on the 27th of December, the hunnybun drove me across town to the oral surgeon’s and we waited in the waiting room. I said a little prayer and I tried to think about how much better my teeth would feel a week later. (And that I probably wouldn’t die because I was so scared of it and I feel like that’s gonna come out of nowhere.)
Finally, they called me in and hooked me up. The doctor said, “In about thirty seconds, you’ll be feeling pret-ty good.”
I said, “Yay.”
And then I got very dizzy and remembered nothing. The next thing I can recall is the nurse helping my off of my chair. I kind of wanted to slide down it and just stand up at the end, but she made me put both of my legs on the same side and stand up that way. I guess she’s right, it’s probably safer.
So they called my hunnybun in and he helped me out the back door (yes, they send all the doped-up toothless wonders like me out the back door so as not to terrify the other patients with my puffy face) and he put me in the car. I don’t actually remember this, you know.
He has helped me remember a lot of things I would’ve forgotten. He says that, as soon as he walked in the door, mumbled, “Yeah!” and I waved my arms around like a dancing rapper, demanding that he give me a high-five because I was so proud of myself. That’s when he realized… he should be filming.
And the next three videos are the result of this realization.
When I saw these videos, I laughed so hard my face hurt. Of course, my face already hurt, but it got worse. I sound incredibly drunk, but I swear I’m not. I’m hiccuping uncontrollably, presumably from the sedative.
So I hope that’s added to your holiday enjoyment.
I can’t decide if I should be embarrassed by these (I probably should) or if I should just accept that this is my true self, exposed to the world, and I should be fine with it.
P.S. I have no idea what “ground beef chicken broth” is. But I clearly intended to have some.
I have to get back to drooling and binge-watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia now.
This made me LOL and brought back memories of my own wisdom teeth removal. Apparently I have SERIOUS reactions to anesthesia. The nurses had to lead me out the back door of the doctors office because I was sobbing hysterically. I then asked my Mom to get me a milkshake, of course she refused. I then tried to get out of the moving car to go get my own. She relented and bought me a milkshake from McDonalds, which I THREW out of the window of the car while we were going down the road in a fit of rage. She called my dad and told him that he needed to come to where we were and bring help. He gave me a talking to and apparently I behaved for the rest of the ride home. I was on pain meds for 2 weeks because all of my teeth were impacted in my jaw bone and I developed an addiction. I called all of my relatives and told them all about the "good stuff" and I would set a timer to see EXACTLY how long it would be before I could take them again. My mom called my boyfriend (now husband) to come and watch me when she had to leave the house. When no one was watching me I would take my gauze out and stick it in my pillow case because I hated it. I remember doing all of this but I obviously wasn't in the right frame of mind. Thanks for taking me back to such a fun memory. I'm sure my husband hopes that I never have to be put under again.
Second Grade Math Maniac
Second Grade Math Maniac
You CRACK ME UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hilarious!!! I got mine out last year and it was AWFUL. I made my hubby cross-his-heart-and-hope-to-die promise that he would NOT film me or take pictures in any way until I was in a suitable frame of mind. He says he complied, but I'm still planning on never divorcing him just in case he actually did. And you are totally right about taking you out the back…what's up with that? Don't the people in the waiting room know WHY they are there? Anyway…thanks for the laugh and hope you are feeling better soon!
The Craft of Teaching
Oh Crissy B.! Sorry I had to giggle a little here and there! I hope the pain is now gone and you have forgotten anything scary or uncomfortable. Thanks for sharing your adventure… and now I know why the dentist has a back door. All this time, I thought it was for fire safety!
Finding JOY in 6th Grade
Hahahaha! Hysterical (not your pain). Hope you are feeling better!
Happy New Year!
Oh my gosh, Casey, yours sounds waaaay worse than mine lol. I was too afraid to take the strong painkillers – I just made do with the ibuprofen and tylenol. What a crazy experience!
You too! lol
It was not as bad as I expected! Yeah, that's so not for fire safety. It's to hide you from the lambs waiting for the slaughter!
Thank you! I am feeling better 🙂