Four ways instructional coaches build relationships with teachers

For instructional coaches, building relationships with teachers can seem like a huge process. But the truth is, simple is best! These four methods will help you show teachers that you’re listening and you’re there to support them, and help you build instructional coaching relationships!

Some teachers may be more challenging to reach than others, but it’s important to start from a positive baseline. The instructional coaching mindset of assuming positive intent will help you appreciate teachers and listen beyond the words they use to hear the actual needs they have.

Our mindset influences the way instructional coaches communicate with teachers. Keep an open mind to meet teachers where they are!

#1 Show you’re listening.

Who really listens to teachers? So many teachers don’t have anyone who takes time to communicate with them. They have so many challenges but administration isn’t always going to consider their needs.

One way to build relationships with teachers is to ask for their input and then value it. When we ask teachers to share about the challenges they’re facing, we can provide support that actually meets their needs.

Surveys are a great way to get input from teachers and turn that around to action! You can ask them what kind of coaching support they need, how PLCs can better help them in the classroom, and what kinds of struggles their students are facing. This will help you plan better support, structure your meetings in a way that helps them directly with their instruction and planning, and provide resources and strategies that will address those challenges.

Here’s one tip: If you ask for feedback, use it! Teachers will notice if you send out surveys and do nothing with them!

You can use Google Forms to send out a survey, or grab these editable surveys in PDF and Google Forms format!

Grab the Teacher Feedback Surveys for Instructional Coaches here!

#2 Build in time to check in and chat

The school day can fly by before you know it if we don’t make a focused effort to build in time for conversations. Every interaction with a teacher is an opportunity for an instructional coach to build their relationship, but sometimes we allow those to fly by without really connecting.

Instead of jumping right into content, data, or your agenda, plan a few minutes at the beginning of each meeting to talk with teachers. Get to know them as people and human beings! Understand their struggles and listen when they tell you about how they’re feeling.

A few purposeful questions can get teachers to start talking. Sometimes we ask, “How are things going?” but that doesn’t usually get them to open up!

Instead, build a mental bank of everything you know about your teachers. Be thoughtful about what you know, and ask follow up questions!

“How is Danielle doing at college?”

“Is that puppy trained yet?”

“How are the wedding plans coming?”

“Try any good recipes this week?”

All of these are questions I’ve asked teachers to get them talking about themselves!

Another way to use this time is to practice social-emotional learning with teachers. Giving teachers time to work through their frustrations, focus on what they can actually do within their control, and brainstorming possible reasons for their responses is time well spent!

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here. Instead, you can use activities from this SEL Resource Kit for Coaches.

Grab the SEL Resource Kit here!

#3 Leave a cheerful note or small gift.

When instructional coaches go out of their way to appreciate a teacher, they notice! Even a small cheerful note or a fun pen or piece of candy shows that you took a moment to do something special for them.

Leaving a positive note to celebrate a bulletin board well done, a really cool project, or even just on their desk so they find it after school is something to brighten their day! It just shows the teacher that somebody noticed, and sometimes that’s a really big deal.

These Sticky Note Messages for Coaches are a fun, easy way to lave positive notes all over your school! They feature different cheerful statements and clipart, and they include directions for printing right onto your favorite sticky notes or post-its!

Grab the Sticky Notes Messages for Coaches here!

#4 Tell them something you appreciate about them

Everybody wants to be noticed. This is true for teachers, too! When instructional coaches show that they appreciate something about teachers, they feel valued, seen, and respected.

Like Elena Aguilar says, “Nobody wants to be coached by somebody who thinks they suck.” It’s true! Teachers want to be coached by someone who appreciates them as people and practitioners.

It’s easy to point out something great about most teachers. Whether it’s their classroom layout, lesson planning precision, organization, fun personality, relationships with students, or punctuality, there is usually a lot to appreciate!

In some cases, you may have to dig deep or look beyond your own biases to find something unique or fantastic.

Our relationships with teachers affect our viewpoint, and vice versa. So acknowledging the good in people is a great way to help us move beyond our current relationships and into something better! It helps the teacher see you care about them and it reminds you that there is good in them, too!

You can do this in person- “Ms. Viera, when I heard you reading aloud to your kids yesterday, it was so much fun! I love that you read with such energy, and I bet the kids love it, too.” Or you can do this in writing! Either way, share something positive that you love about the teacher and watch your relationship grow!

Tip: Try to make your positive observation something about the teacher and not just their lesson. A more personal note of appreciation will go farther!

Grab these Notes from the Coach! Choose your favorite style here!

P.S. Got a challenging teacher? Some teachers are less excited about instructional coaches, and building a relationship with them can take a more purposeful approach.

Join the Coaching Resistant Teachers Challenge below to learn exactly how to flip the script and save the coaching relationship!