Week 2: Why Instructional Coaches Need to Intentionally Build Relationships with the 3Cs, ep. 197

Week 2: Why Instructional Coaches Need to Intentionally Build Relationships with the 3Cs, ep. 197, Instructional Coaching with Ms. B Podcast

Chrissy Beltran  00:00

Hey, Coach, when you think about the beginning of the school year, how do you feel unsure, doubtful, overwhelmed. You’re not alone. Since the dawn of time, instructional coaches have been left to figure things out on their own, resulting in frustration and failure. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Instead, let’s start the year with a roadmap that tells you exactly what to do each day for the exponentially important first 20 days of school. The things you do that first month of school will make or break your coaching year. Let’s do the right things together. Head to buzzing with ms b.com/startup to join the waitlist for my instructional coaching startup course. The course opens in mid July, but if you join the waitlist, you’ll receive a coupon code for 15% off when the course opens up. I can’t wait to help you start strong and coach better this year.

Chrissy Beltran  00:52

Welcome to instructional coaching with Miss B, where we believe that every teacher deserves a coach, and every coach does, too. I’m Chrissy Beltran, an elementary teacher who became a coach, and I had to create my own coaching program that worked. Now I teach coaches how to design their coaching programs, build a school wide action plan and use differentiated strategies to support teachers. Plus, I’ve got a special spot in my heart for literacy coaches. Now let’s dig into the episode. Coach.

Chrissy Beltran  01:19

So welcome to episode 197 of instructional coaching with Miss B. This is why instructional coaches need to intentionally build relationships with the three C’s,

Chrissy Beltran  01:29

I’m going to tell you what the three C’s are in just a little bit, I first have a couple of really cool announcements. One is that we are coming up on our 200th episode of instructional coaching with Miss B, which is wild. And bit that’s because we’re at 197. So we’re only a few weeks away from this absolutely momentous event. And so you can actually join to sell to me to celebrate in the Facebook group play hosting a game called bingo with MS B. It’s just a silly little game not hard to play, it’s going to result in some really cool prizes. And you can win. So grab that bingo board, in the instructional coaching with Ms. B. Facebook group. If you don’t know how to search for that it’s not hard, you go to Facebook or you go to your app, and you just put a little search bar instructional coaching with Miss B, and the group should pop up, click to join and then answer the questions. Please. You don’t have to sign up for emails or anything you can but you can you can you don’t have to just make sure you answer the question. So that way I can admit you to the group.

Chrissy Beltran  02:25

This theme, this is our second episode in our four week series on the same is the first 20 days of instructional coaching. And so the reason I’m focusing on this is because starting up your your coaching program at the beginning of the school year is so important. But sometimes we spend a lot of time getting bogged down and other stuff because we kind of don’t know what to do. And we’re like nobody wants us in their classroom right now. Maybe that’s true, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t go in there. So what we need to think about is okay, how do we spend those first 20 days of school, really building the program that we want to use all year long, because you’re establishing yourself as a coach, you’re building those relationships, you’re getting your program started in that first month of school, and then you’re gonna hopefully be able to take those things and use them to build on all the rest of the year, you’re building your foundation now, and you’re gonna grow it throughout the year. So if you are feeling like, Okay, I don’t know, if my program is as strong as it should be. I feel like I don’t know where to spend my time those first 20 days what is most important for me to do, I want you to join instructional coaching startup and you will love it. If you go to buy the movement v.com/startup Then you can join the course that will teach you what to do every single day for the first 20 days of school. And that course is open right now. It’s not always open, it closes, it’ll probably close at the end of August. Because most coaches are back in school by then we’re almost back in school. And so what happens is, every day you have your little video, you can watch three of them in a day. If you want, you can watch one of them however you want to work it but there’s a video every day for the first 20 days. And the resources you need to do the tasks for that day. And they’re really short videos because coaches are busy. You can also listen to the podcast in your car, I created a podcast version of it, then whenever you get the course you get the podcast version too. So you can set it up on your phone, listen, your drive to work and that way you’re near prepared for your day, you know what you’re going to focus on. So we’re going to talk in that course about what to do every day for the first 20 days. And then in a special Facebook group only for members of that course. I’m actually going to walk you through it and one day at a time and we did this last year. It was super fun because I got to see artifacts from people people ask questions, shared their pictures of what they were doing and it was so cool to see so definitely grab instructional coaching startup at buzzing with myspace.com/startup and you can join us for this amazing life support that we’re going to do starting the first week in August. You can also grab a free little jumpstart course little mini jumpstart course short course comm slash jumpstart and point to be a you’re designing your coaching role, you’re gonna look, look, you’re gonna build a three by three vision. So much good stuff. I had so much good feedback about that last year. So I’m reading it again. So definitely join our Facebook group and instructional coaching with MFI. And also join that jumpstart little intro course buzzing with Nick b.com, slash jumpstart, I can’t wait to see you there. As you are thinking about your plan for this year. The second thing we’re talking about what to focus on each week, the second week, one of the big focuses is building relationships intentionally. Now, this could be the second week of school, but it could also be like the first week of school if you do all those preliminary things the week before which I highly, highly recommend. And I hope relationship building is a big part of your plan. And I have spent a lot of time thinking about how we need to build relationships with teachers, because it’s not, you know, a friend relationship is not a boss employee relationship. We are kind of leaders based on goodwill, right? We get our work done, because we have really no power. Right? We have, the only authority we have is what comes from within us we have no like, Oh, I’m I can write you up. None of those things relate to coaches, we’re in like this really unique little spot because we’re like a partner. And we want people to want to work with us. But sometimes they have to work with us, depending on your job description. And it’s really kind of tricky. So I’ve done a lot of thinking about this. And I’ve thought about okay, what make the the relation what makes up the components have a really strong, good teacher partner relationship between a coach and the teacher that you’re working with. So your three things that I have found to be absolutely necessary, and they must happen in pretty much equal amounts all the time. Like we’re always trying to build these three things. Unfortunately, they all start with C, which is really nice for me, because it’s easy to remember, for you to. And I’m going to introduce those to you today and talk a little bit about what they can look like and why we want to do them. So the first one is clarity, having clarity around your role, and your responsibilities and what that means for teachers. And we need to keep introducing this clearly and repeatedly. Because teachers will envision what your role is. And it might not be flattering, and it might not be accurate. Consistency is the second showing up consistently and doing what you say you’ll do, that’s how we we build credibility is by showing that we are going to do the thing that we say we’re going to do, we’re going to show up, we’re not going to, you know, shirk the hard task, we’re gonna get in there and I am going to be positively relentless, I will not give up, I will not give up on you, I will not give up on our school, I will be here. So just expect that I’m coming back, even if you’re not nice to me. Okay, that’s the kind of lie yet. And then the last one is connection, making inroads and building bridges to each individual teacher, because the teaching coaching relationship that you’re going to teach or coach relationship that you’re trying to build is built on this goodwill, right. And so teachers need to believe that we want to be around them and that we are their biggest supporter, and that we are there to help them grow. So we want to keep these three things in the forefront. Because these are the three keys to this very specific kind of relationship that you’re trying to build. And again, you’ll actually get a plan to help you do all these things. And instructional coaching Startup Week to the I’m going to talk a little bit about I teach you how to have these positive interactions with teachers, how to build relationships, and you know, very practical, action oriented, we create an event that will help you introduce yourself with clarity and build connection, we identify your method for tracking your time, which will help you show up consistently, we prepare for digital communications, which will consistently put you in front of your teachers as a credible, valuable support person. So that’s buzzing with Miss b.com slash startup. So let’s dig into clarity. Clarity, like I said, is introducing your role and responsibilities clearly and repeatedly. So why is that so important? Teachers don’t have to do it. The principal doesn’t have to keep coming out saying I’m your boss. This is what I do. I evaluate you I visit your classroom twice a year, I’m just joking. I will you know deal with behavior when the AP is out at a training.

Chrissy Beltran  09:16

Just kidding. So like I mentioned in the last episode about situating yourself as a coach in the school system, you just don’t have that kind of role. You do not have a role that people understand. And no one else is really going to help you share that role with teachers consistently. And so like your principal may introduce you at the beginning. But are they going to do it on your long is in January? Are they going to be kind of redefining your role and making sure teachers understand that you’re not going to share certain things with other teachers and you know, are they going to come back to that? No, you have to do it. So in order for you to do your job, you have to build these relationships with the teachers which is required for coaching. You can’t do it with an unclear job. That’s great. isn’t because they’re going to be giving you a thigh, they’re gonna think you’re a snitch. And you’re just not going to be able to build good relationships. So you have to build clarity first for yourself, with your administration, and with your teachers all around your role. So they know what you’re there to do. Everybody knows your principle doesn’t ask you to do stuff. It’s not you know, and your role if you can avoid it. You do not say yes to things that do not really resonate with your role. And your teachers don’t think you’re there to make copies all the time. And understand that you are there as a growth partner for everybody. So what does it look like when everybody knows, everybody knows what falls into your role. And they also know that you’re not there just to work with bad teachers, because that’s kind of like the box that coaches get put in sometimes. That’s what clarity around your role look like, if people know they can come to you to help them grow, that is your job, and that you’re not there just to pass judgment on who’s good and who’s bad. And to catch people doing things wrong, we have to really establish that clearly. Or else teachers are going to think all of the bad things about your job. because consistency is the second one. And that refers to showing up consistently, and doing what you say you will do. And that can be really hard. Because that sounds like obviously, I’m going to if you’re a person like me, not following through on something, you feel tremendous guilt about it, oh, I said I was going to do this, and I didn’t do it on my own, I can still remember things that that just never, it was not possible timewise that I wanted to do, that I never got around to doing and I still feel guilty about it, I need to let it go, I know, I’m gonna think I still think about it. So this can actually be really hard, hard, because if you’re overwhelmed, you have too many responsibilities, maybe your role is too all encompassing or you get too many other duties as assigned, then you are not really able to follow through with what you need to follow through with. So you see how all these things kind of work together, we got to clarify that role realistically, so that we can be consistent in our responsibility. Because if we are not following through on our responsibilities, and what we tell teachers, we’re there to do, we don’t have any credibility. You know, if we tell teachers, you know what, I’m going to help you plan that unit, or I’m going to be in your classroom to check on the student every Monday, or you know, don’t worry, I’m going to make this I’m working on this curriculum guide, and it’s going to help us plan better, or, you know, I’m going to show up next week, because I know you wanted help with this. And we don’t, they don’t believe it. They don’t believe that we’re gonna be there to do the things that they need us to do, or that they’ve asked us to do. And we’re not building that relationship, because suddenly, we’re just the person that never finished with our path. Right. And we all have worked with somebody like that, you know, I have wonderful friends, great friends. But I know something has like a time frame that needs to be done. I’m not going to ask that person for help, because that is not their specialty, we’ll say. So if we say we’re going to visit, we need to visit, if we say that we’re going to help with something we need to show up. If we say we will help them, you know, create an assessment, and then we’re going to get their input on it, we need to do both pieces. Think back to somebody that you work with, who didn’t follow through. I mean, I can think of somebody at work, who didn’t follow through on most of the things they said they were going to do. And I did not count on them even if they offered, because I certainly I just didn’t expect that they would actually do the thing that I asked, and I certainly didn’t go to them for help. And that’s what we want our teachers to do we want them fifth as a support as a partner. If you can’t count on somebody, they’re not a partner. So once they know what we’re there to do, the consistency is what shows that we mean what we say. And we need to be taken at our word, because that’s really all we have. Right? Well, like I mentioned before, we don’t have any of those tools, that principals or other kinds of leadership positions, half our leadership comes from our relationships. It comes from Goodwill. And so without consistency, there can be no trust. And without trust, there’s no relationship or goodwill. So then what are we going to leverage to support teachers? Nothing. The last thing is connection, making inroads to each individual person. Sometimes, this is what we jump to when we think about relationships, we immediately want those connections. But I personally believe this is a piece because there has to be a foundation for trust. People don’t only want to know that you’re going to ask them about how their daughter’s dance competition went. I know that you could help them in their classroom. So they don’t know where to put us in their relationship Web. Teachers are unsure where do you belong in my web of people, if we’re just friendly. They need to know why we’re there and what we’re going to do and then we can start building those individual bridges. So bridge building looks different depends Hitting on the person that you’re building bridges with some people, you connect over content, you connect over instruction, I love to connect with people over teaching. I love to talk shop, right? So if you come with Tim to me, and you have a really cool strategy, or you praise something that I did instructionally, or you say, hey, I can see your kids making games, I’m gonna go, oh, man, I love I want to talk more to this person, they’re appreciating the hard work I’m putting in and teaching. Not everybody is like that, right? Some people, you have to move past the instruction and really dig into that personal relationship. So then you have to get to know them. You have to get to know who they are as a person, you have to listen. And you have to find opportunities to build that bridge. So you listen, at the beginning of the PLC meeting before everything gets started, and you hear one teacher talk to her counterpart about her dog. And every week, she talks about her dog, you’re gonna ask that teacher about a dog, you hear a teacher talk about how she can’t wait to go to Lowe’s, because it’s spring, you’re going to ask that teacher about her flowers or her plants, right about their garden, you have to listen for opportunities to build those bridges, just like we do with kids, right? We have to listen to who they are so that we know what kind of bridge to build, and what is going to actually be the elements of that bridge, we have to find something in common or something of interest, or something that we can use to reach out to that person and say, Hey, I hear you, I see you, I know what’s important to you. If you think about coaching teachers who have been resistant to you, you have to do this even more intentionally. And it might take longer, because they’re not excited about you. They’re like, Oh, here’s this person, who’s just here to do blah, blah, blah, whatever it is their vision of you, right. And so we have to really be thoughtful about that clarity around our role, we have to really be thoughtful about being credible, and showing up consistently. And we have to really plan out our connection. And sometimes those features can be the hardest ones to connect to, maybe you’ve clarified your role. Maybe you’re you’re consistent, you’re showing up, and you’re doing the things you say you’re gonna do. But when you don’t have a bridge, there’s no connection, how are you going to get to that teacher. And unfortunately, while we’re fortunate, I don’t know, it just depends on how you look at it. It’s your job, right, your job requires you to have a relationship with that teacher, just like a teacher’s job requires them to build some kind of relationship with intentionality with students. So if you’re going to make a difference in that classroom, you got to get a bridge to go into that classroom. I’m not saying you do this disconnected from coaching work. That’s why clarity and consistency are part of relationship building, because we bill through the work. However, there are certain cases that are going to push back on this connection, they’re not going to like you, they’re not going to trust you. It’s not common, you’re going to have a few probably some people have less, some people have more depending on the culture of their school, and how much that coaching model has been in place in the past, and also what previous experiences have been with you. But you have to be thoughtful about how you’re going to reach out to those individual teachers and really build a bridge with intentionality, to those people who are like dismantling the bridge from their end every time you try to build. So it can be tricky. But if you are thoughtful, and you listen, listen, listen, and you try to find a way to get to those individual, whether that is recommending a resource that you really think they would enjoy, because you’re like, I heard them talk about this, and this mentor text that I have, is just perfect for what they were talking about, I’m gonna go share that I have this resource that I used to use all the time, maybe they would like, you find a way a very practical way to get into that classroom and build that connection with that teacher because if not, you’re not going anywhere. So those are the three C’s, we’ve got clarity, we have consistency and connection, those three things in equal amount will perfect three, little P sign on a pi is going to help you build your relationships with teachers. And I hope that you’re thoughtful about that as you go into the year. And that gives you some ideas about what you need to focus on login and instructional coaching startup, you’re gonna learn how to do things that will help you in all these three areas and that buzzing with mcafee.com/startup.

Chrissy Beltran  19:02

Next week, we’re going to learn about what I say you focus on for week three, which is to focus on the learning that teacher learning but it’s also your learning, okay, so I can’t wait to share that with you. And don’t forget to go grab Fingal with nifty because I’m so excited to share it with you and it’s nice to do something fun. And I’m going to have some cool prizes. So go grab that and until next week, happy coffee

Chrissy Beltran  19:29

now that you’ve got so much to think about head over to buzzing with buzzfeed.com to grab some free downloads, become a VIB and check out the podcast show notes. Happy coaching!