My Top 7 Christmas Movies

Christmas movies are probably the best movies out of all of the movies in the world. I don’t think I am being biased when I say this. It’s verifiable fact. How do I know? Well, after you finish watching some movies, you might think, “Wow. That was meaningful. I’m a little depressed.” After watching a Christmas movie, you might think, “Wow. That was heartwarming. Let’s drink hot chocolate an buy presents.”

The choice is clear.
I do have one confession, though. I really like Christmas movies that give a naughty twist. So you may be very upset with me to realize that 

It’s a Wonderful Life isn’t on this list.
WHAT?! The outrage! The unforgiveableness! The blatant disregard for George and Mary and Angel’s Wings!! 
But alas, it just doesn’t make my cut. A little too deep for me.
These are my favorite Christmas movies, in reverse order of favoritism. 
#7 Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Why it’s my favorite: Claymation is fantastico! And every time Rudolph’s nose lights up, it makes this obnoxious and addicting noise. “WHOOOOO”
One problem: The island of misfit toys reminds me of a bunch of Debbie Downers. If you’re already a little depressed, Charlie in the Box can send you right over the edge.
Favorite parts: Clearly, it’s when Herbie says, “I want to be…. a dentist!” Great voice acting.

#6 The California Raisins Christmas Special

I don’t know if this counts, but I’m the one writing the blog post, so it’s going in.
Why it’s my favorite: Um, do you remember the California Raisins?! Do you remember how cool they were?! I think it’s pretty obvious why it’s my favorite. The awesome factor is very high.
One problem: They were singing raisins, after all.
Favorite parts: Most definitely, my absolute most favoritest part was when the camels sang We Three Kings. All-time Christmas song high.

Isn’t that lovely and weird?

#5 How the Grinch Stole Christmas: the real one. Sorry, Jim Carrey. Not doing it for me.

Why it’s my favorite: Whos! And the general weird-ness of Seusstastic stuff.
One problem: Max makes me a little sad. He’s kind of depressed and has to run around with a giant horn stuck to his head. He can’t be enjoying it.
Favorite part: When the Grinch is slinking around the houses, gathering up all the decorations. It’s exactly how I feel after Christmas, when I’m taking everything down and stuffing it into tubs in the garage. 

#4 A Christmas Story

Why it’s my favorite: I know I wasn’t even born during the time this movie depicts, but somehow, (grouchy father) this movie (mouth washed out with soap) seems to really resonate with me (gifts from family members that are completely age inappropriate). 
One problem: The kid has yellow eyes. I mean really? Also, Santa is absolutely terrifying. 
Favorite Parts: “*sob*Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie.” (been there)
This part: 

And “You used up ALL the glue ON PURPOSE!”

#3 A Charlie Brown Christmas

Why it’s my favorite: The kids’ voices are charming and Vince Guiraldi really knows how to rock a soundtrack. 
One problem: This film can cause depression in those susceptible to it.
Favorite parts: I would say Linus’ monologue, but that’s understood. So I think my other favorite part would be when Lucy is trying to get Linus to play Jingle Bells. “No! Jingle Bells! You know, deck the halls and all that jazz?”

#2 Elf

Why it’s my favorite: Ummm…cause it’s hilarious? Will Farrell reminds me of myself around this time of year. 
One problem: Weirdly, every time I get to the part at the end where everyone’s singing in Central Park, I cry. I don’t think that’s normal.
Favorite Part:

#1 National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

Why it’s my favorite: Highly quotable. When in doubt, quote Clark Griswald. Or better yet, cousin Eddie! And I think it makes me happy to see a family in action that is more dysfunctional than mine.

This is exactly what my outlets look like.

One problem: Every family has a cousin Eddie. If you don’t know who YOUR cousin Eddie is… maybe it’s you.

He’s been holding out for a management position.

Favorite parts: We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny f*&#ing Kay! (been there)

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  1. Stuck in an airport due to delay…glad to get your freebie before we are airborne!

    I'm with you…hate sappy movies. Christmas Vacation was on last night…hilarious!

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